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Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Employers sometimes ask people applying for a jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#employers #people #jobs #information #hobbies #interests
Private information is required in the process of for
applying
Add the preposition
forapplying
show examples
 jobs. It is argued that if provide personal
data
such
 as relationship status and hobbies are necessary. In my opinion, I agree that provide individual
data
 is relevant to the fitness of the company culture and background, while others might do not agree.
However
,
this
 essay will
further
 discuss both views. On the one hand, nowadays, it is normal that a resume should include personal information, which is important to Human Resource Department for reference. The message not only provides the views to see the personalities of candidates but
also
 includes the reference for companies to measure the candidates with the party background.
For example
, as a sale , the role the company would prefer the candidate whose personality is outgoing and friendly.
Moreover
, the manager role would prefer someone who married. These all are relevant
data
 for interviewers to understand
further
 about
people
.
On the other hand
, these
data
also
 can bring negative effects to the population,
such
 as if the party have passed
data
 to other organizations.
For example
, dating party always keen to collect the list of single
people
, as they would buy from the other companies. As result, single
people
 are bothered by these dating offices.
Furthermore
, some
people
 do not agree the interests and marriage would impact the functions of work. They are insisting that life and the job are apart. In conclusion,
although
 private information is not
such
 important as abilities, it
also
 gives extra opportunities to the candidates to get the offer if everything fit with the company.
Submitted by janetchen1908 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • job application
  • personal information
  • hobbies and interests
  • marital status
  • relevant
  • useful
  • privacy
  • assessing candidates
  • qualifications
  • experience
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