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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people say that increasing the price of fattening foods will solve this problem. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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The problem of overweight is
one
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 of the most troublesome signs of deteriorating public health. Many
people
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 are suffering from
obesity
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 and some hold the opinion that the effective remedy is to raise the cost of unhealthy
food
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. While I agree that
this
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 action may bring certain merits,
one
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 could argue that there are far more suitable solutions. On the
one
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 hand, it is advisable to reduce the
obesity
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 rate by increasing fattening
food
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’s price due to the correlation between fast
food
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 and health. Since
people
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 are living in a fast-paced society, fast
food
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 chains are becoming more ubiquitous and cheaper in order to satisfy customers’ demand. If the price of junk
food
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 goes up and nutritious options are more widely available, there is a likelihood that fewer
people
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 would opt for the unhealthy ones. Obviously, when the demand for fattening
meals
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 goes down,
this
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 can help minimize the risks of contracting
obesity
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.
On the other hand
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,
one
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 would contend that a more drastic measure to combat the
obesity
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 crisis starts from the family.
This
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 is because parents should act as role models for children to imitate by cooking healthy home-cooked
meals
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 and make sure the whole family has sufficient physical activities on a daily basis. Mothers can substitute ready-made
meals
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 and fizzy drinks with
food
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 with less fat and sugary contents, fresh vegetables, or fruits.
Moreover
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, the family can schedule a suitable timeframe to walk or play sports, which not only helps with weight control but
also
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 can tighten family bonds.
As a result
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, it is undeniable that the effectiveness of the solution to impose a tax on fast
food
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 is pale in comparison to the proposed initiative. In conclusion, it is true that
obesity
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 is growing at an alarming rate. Establishing a well- balanced eating habit from the family is proven to be more effective in handling
this
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 problem
instead
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 of focusing only on raising the price of unhealthy ready-made
meals
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. Unless
people
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 take actions now, the younger generation shall be outlived by their parents and even grandparents.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • overweight
  • fattening foods
  • calorie-dense
  • healthier food choices
  • taxation
  • economic implications
  • social implications
  • subsidies
  • nutritional education
  • public health campaigns
  • nanny state
  • individual's right
  • consumer behavior
  • preventative measures
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