Many people work long hour, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?
Engaging in
labor
is an essential undertaking for subsistence. Numerous people are overworked and Change the spelling
labour
consequently
have less time
to unwind. The advantages and disadvantages will be discussed in the subsequent paragraph.
Many individuals initially
exert considerable effort
in order to make a livelihood. There are a multitude of advantages associated with diligent effort
. A greater income is the primary benefit of working diligently, as opposed to those who work
short hours
. For instance
, individuals who put in eight hours
of effort
each day are remunerated at a current daily minimum wage of ten dollars per hour, in contrast
to citizens who work
a mere four hours
per day. Furthermore
, the former enjoy greater prospects for career progression, constituting an additional advantage of exerting effort
. For instance
, diligent employees
will experience accelerated career advancement and greater engagement in their respective fields. Lastly
, employees
who work
long hours
may attain greater professional development opportunities and financial stability than those who work
shorter hours
.
Nevertheless
, extended work
hours
can negatively impact employees
, and the practice itself has a multitude of disadvantages. An initial concern regarding extended work
hours
is the potential for a disruption in one's work
-life balance. As an illustration, citizens' health will deteriorate due to
a lack of time
to devote to their families. Additionally
, their lack of leisure time
may hinder their personal development. For example
, insufficient leisure time
can result in the development of chronic stress and emotional distress. Lastly
, extended work
hours
can result in decreased job satisfaction and exhaustion.
In conclusion, diligent effort
entails a range of advantages and disadvantages. In my opinion, employees
ought to maintain a healthy work
-life balance. They will attain financial security, excellent health, and overall
well-being as a consequence
.Submitted by alisa.chuaypalad on
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Task Achievement
Your essay demonstrates a reasonable ability to discuss the advantages and disadvantages related to the topic. However, you could have provided a more nuanced discussion by comparing the two sides directly, rather than discussing them in isolation. A balance of comparison could enhance the task achievement score.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structuring of your arguments shows a fair degree of coherence, with an identifiable introduction and conclusion. However, the connection between the main points could be strengthened. Transition sentences that create a smooth flow from one idea to the next would increase your score in the coherence and cohesion section.