Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are most successful. Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are most successful.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
While some people assume that those who possess economic prosperity is exposed to be successful, it is believed that success belongs to people contributing to society
such
Linking Words
as experts or teachers.
This
Linking Words
essay will drive the answer for both sides. On the one hand, a successful business magnate is defined that not only pursues wealth for himself
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
Linking Words
makes indispensable contributions to the country. There is an instance that Pham Nhat Vuong, CEO of Vingroup, provide various scholarships for Vietnamese students to keep on their higher education, and widen the labour market for the unemployed population.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they set up a positive mindset and cultivate right-mannered behaviours for popularity by their widespread leverage.
For example
Linking Words
, Pham Thi Phuong Thao who is the CEO of Vietjet airline encourages many women to empower their strength and go out to work by her influence on running a large organization. On the other hands, it can not be denied the achievement from the attempts to strengthen the growing country owes to those working in science and education fields. Science offers convenience and health security for the public’s lives. Without scientists, no vaccine for covid-19 was discovered and hardly could our lives be maintained now.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, education produces more high-quality workers for economic growth in the future. Educators enabling students to be armed with fundamental knowledge play an irreplaceable role on a daily basis. There would not be any businessmen or scientists if no teaching or training is provided completely as a consequence. In conclusion, I believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
either business mogul or scientists and teachers, they all are in an equal measure on the success scale. Triumph depends on many aspects, amongst those, people making a contribution to the community is of great significance to the crowds.
Submitted by nganle.ashley on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial prosperity
  • capitalizing
  • luxury travel
  • exclusive experiences
  • contributions to society
  • humanitarian workers
  • lasting impact
  • highly subjective
  • cultural, societal, and personal values
  • comfort and security
  • deeper personal satisfaction
  • holistic understanding
What to do next:
Look at other essays: