IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Many people believe that a person’s culture is defined by their country of origin, while others believe that it has only minor influence. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #person’s #culture #country #origin #influence
Many
people
 claim that someone's cultural traits are determined mainly by the nation he comes from, while other
people
 believe that the country of origin plays a minor role. I am going to discuss the arguments of both sides and express my opinion on the matter.
Firstly
, it is indeed true that the country we come from influences our cultural traits since it already plays a big part in how we identify our selves.
Additionally
, our origins are
also
 most of the time the same as the
people
 who raised us, and since they are our
first
 influence, we tend to copy their behaviour.
For instance
, the child of an Indian immigrant family in Europe will most likely follow Hinduistic worship ways rather than Christian. On the other side of the spectrum,
people
 claim that other more major influences than our origins on how our characters develop, like the place and the society we grew up in. Indeed, not only our way of life depends on the place we live in, but every community has different standards from one another.
For example
, many middle eastern Muslim women living in Europe nowadays have stopped covering their hair. Their religion might say so;
however
, European standards tend to consider it anachronistic. The need to conform to the social norms are often greater than that of origins. In conclusion, both sides are somewhat true as our cultural identity is extremely crucial and influential on how our character develops.
However
, so does the society and the location we have grown up and lived in.
Submitted by Joanna on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: