Governments in many countries are urgently seeking ways to reduce unemployment in rural areas. What are the most effective ways to do this? Which measure do you think would be the single most effective step that governments could take?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
During these past few decades, people residing in the
countryside
have encountered a noticeable issue regarding insufficient job opportunities affecting all aspects of their lives.
Consequently
, governments in many states have felt the urge to find solutions to
this
conflict. There are a series of efficient ways to resolve
this
problem. In
this
essay, we are going through some of them and
also
demonstrate the most beneficial ones. In order to address the reduced number of employment opportunities in rural regions, the fundamental factors which have caused
this
situation should be investigated in the first place. One of the most influential reasons for
this
incident is the rapid infrastructural advancements in urban
areas
which have attracted business owners from all small towns and villages to start their business there
instead
of their hometown.
As a result
, the number of possible vacancies is reduced in the
countryside
.
For instance
, when farmers decide to shut down their businesses and move to major towns, their workers become unemployed. In
this
situation, the government's role is to allocate certain funds to encourage entrepreneurs in small towns to expand their establishments. One other trendy way to fix the problem of joblessness
that is
becoming more and more popular among people in rural
areas
is ecotourism.
This
can be done by the special attention of governments to the attractive, natural spots in the
countryside
. If some funds are set aside to build tourism establishments
such
as luxury resorts and holiday camps in these
areas
, a diverse range of occupations will be generated
as a consequence
.
To sum up
,
although
the issue of joblessness in rural
areas
has become a major concern these days, some effective steps like supporting local business owners and
also
establishing tourist spots in the
countryside
can be carried out by the governments in order to improve the situation. From my viewpoint, I believe that the first option can be a great solution to
this
matter.
Submitted by basri.fateme on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay provides a clear and complete response to the task, addressing both parts of the question effectively. However, giving more specific real-life examples would strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Your ideas are generally clear and comprehensive. Yet, some points, especially about ecotourism, could benefit from further elaboration and specific examples.
coherence cohesion
The coherence and cohesion of your essay are quite good, with a logical structure and well-presented introduction and conclusion. However, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain better flow.
coherence cohesion
To enhance the strength of your supporting points, try using varied and rich examples. This will give your arguments more depth and relevance.
coherence cohesion
Your essay begins with a strong introduction that clearly presents the issue and outlines the structure of your response.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points and reiterates your stance, providing a clear end to the essay.
task achievement
You successfully identify two key solutions and elaborate on their potential effectiveness, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • unemployment
  • rural areas
  • agricultural innovations
  • modern farming techniques
  • subsidies
  • research and development
  • productivity
  • infrastructure
  • connectivity
  • energy supply
  • small and medium enterprises (SMEs)
  • financial assistance
  • training programs
  • market access
  • local economies
  • vocational training
  • quality education
  • workforce
  • skills
  • rural tourism
  • hospitality
  • transportation
  • foreign and domestic investment
  • tax incentives
  • business environment
  • agricultural cooperatives
  • pool resources
  • markets
  • livelihoods
What to do next:
Look at other essays: