IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people think that to be successful ,you need to get in a university education,whereas others say it is not true.Discuss both ideas and give your own opinion .

#people #university #education
It is a highly debated issue whether or not to have an academic
degree
 for being successful .
This
 essay will study both views and present my personal take on the matter. On the one hand , there is an array of factors for those advocating the idea that a formal
degree
 is needed to access success.Primarily,having a
degree
 enable graduates to find a job easily.Put simply, most employers place a premium on educated workers.
Therefore
,
people
 with a
degree
 could earn a higher salary right and be hired in a higher position from the outset.Equally importantly,
people
 who have theoretical knowledge related to their work field could more easily adapt their work, which contributes to step forward at the workplace. Turning to the other side of the arguments, some proponents, with whom I agree, claim that a
degree
 is not sufficient to be successful.Some community do not capable of learning for university education, but they can achieve a lot of things without a formal scale by going forwards in fields that they want to work on,
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
such
 as hairdressing and dressmaking.
Additionally
,Employers often value experience over education,especially, in vocational fields.
Moreover
,Some gifted
people
 could succeed in more spots and music than academic lessons.Take a person who is famous even though did not go to any university as an example; his songs are listened to by millions every day and it makes him be a successful singer in the world. İn conclusion,
Although
 there are some
people
 who uphold an academic
degree
 is pivotal, I completely believe that it is not compulsory for every success.
Submitted by Ahmet Münir KOCAMAN on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • university education
  • higher pay
  • sweated and sacrificed
  • higher education
  • time, effort, and financial investment
  • specialized knowledge and skills
  • job prospects
  • economic contributions
  • valuable contributions
  • fairness and equality
What to do next:
Look at other essays: