The inequality between rich and poor nations is now wider than it has ever been before. What do you think are the main causes of this difference and what do you think can be done to reduce the gap?

#inequality #nations #difference #gap

The inequality between privileged and underprivileged

nations

proliferates

Change preposition

with

show examples

passing

Correct article usage

the passing

show examples

days. There are two main causes behind

this

occurrence including

uneducation

Correct your spelling

education

and overpopulation.

This

essay will put forward optimal solutions to

this

pressing problem. First and foremost, being unlettered is a prominent reason for

this

significant concern. Uneducated people cannot find their desirable jobs, so they cannot be involved in their nation's contribution,

whereas

the educated find their admirable jobs, leading to

the

Correct article usage

show examples

continuous increase in earnings.

Therefore

, these skilful citizens are more likely to contribute more powerfully to national development.

This

incident may have severe repercussions for

nations

' economic growth, and it makes a difference between countries. To narrow the gap, those in power should erect state schools with quality education for the needy and help them achieve decent occupations. With a more competent workforce, society will thrive faster, and

this

harmful phenomenon will end.

Furthermore

, overpopulation is a primary reason for discrepancies between wealthy and poverty-stricken

nations

. To be more specific, natural resources have become scarce in areas where uncontrolled population growth is taking place.

As a result

, civilians of the

nations

may face a shortage of daily

necessaries

Replace the word

necessities

show examples

and, in a worst-case scenario, be prone to a financial crisis, impoverishing these lands. To mitigate

this

trend, the stronger countries should provide financial aid to the weaker ones, and authorities in more fiscally disadvantaged communities should give all of the dwellers proper knowledge and training about population and birth control, a catalyst for societal blossoming. In conclusion, one of the leading root causes of the difference between rich and poor countries is illiteracy. So, everyone must receive early age quality education, and it is wise to say that the whole world is a giant family living together, and the suffering of one will take

the

Correct article usage

show examples

smile from the other's face. Helping each other should be the principal priority.

Submitted by trananh.khang159 on Thu Apr 15 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response

Task Response: The essay provides a comprehensive response to the question, including two main causes and solutions to reduce the gap. However, the response could be improved by providing more specific examples and elaborating on the solutions.

Coherence and Cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay demonstrates a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are supported and presented in a coherent manner. However, the essay could benefit from stronger connections between ideas and more varied cohesive devices to enhance coherence.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS writing?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

310 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
you have seen an advertisement in Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for 6 month in look after their 6 year old child. write a letter to the parents. In your letter. - explain why you would like to the job - give details for why you would be a suitable person for employee -say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia
I am writing to express my interest in the job that was advertised in the weekly Australian magazine last week. I am a student at Sydney University which is located near your house. The reason that I am looking for a part-time job is to manage my expenses.
<4
band
Supermarkets shoul only sell food produced within their own country. What are your opinions about it.
The illustration presents information about people were travelled abroad in 1990, 1995, 2000 and 2005. It can be clearly seen that all numbers of tourists increased but there were significant differences in the data for each year.
6
band
Other people think that, in today's world, subject like Science and Technology are more important than History. Disucss both these views and give your opinion.
There is a controversial discussion about which subjects should be given the greatest importance in the academic curriculum. On one hand, some people believe that the past should be given importance whilst others are of the opinion that systems and technology should be considered significant. I opine with the latter view.
7.5
band
The world of work is changing rapidly and people cannot depend on the same job or same conditions of work for life. Discuss the possible causes for these changes and give your suggestions on how people should prepare for work in the future.
There is an opinion that earning money for a living is becoming more and more challenging in the last years. It could be linked to several factors contributing to the issue. In this essay, I will shed some light on the working alterations that have occurred in our fast-paced and ever-changing world for the last few years, and provide some suggestions on how to adapt to them.
5.5
band
Many old buildings are protected by law because they are part of a nation's history. However, some people think old buildings should be knocked down to make way for new ones because people need houses and offices. How important is it to maintain old buildings? Should history stand in the way of progress?
Old architectural works such as churches, palaces, castles, or houses contribute to the uniqueness of each country. In my opinion, maintaining and preserving these historically significant artifacts does not imply that their aging has a stifling effect on each nation's progress.

The inequality between rich and poor nations is now wider than it has ever been before. What do you think are the main causes of this difference and what do you think can be done to reduce the gap?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Supermarkets shoul only sell food produced within their own country. What are your opinions about it.

Other people think that, in today's world, subject like Science and Technology are more important than History. Disucss both these views and give your opinion.

The world of work is changing rapidly and people cannot depend on the same job or same conditions of work for life. Discuss the possible causes for these changes and give your suggestions on how people should prepare for work in the future.