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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think children should attend extra classes after school, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #classes #school
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We live in an age where the knowledge base is increasing at an incredible rate. It is already struggling to catch up with recent technologies and innovations.
Hence
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, some people are convinced that
children
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's participation in additional classes can enhance their level of knowledge.
However
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, I fully disagree with
this
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 conviction for the reason that pupils will be overloaded by extra lessons and that their brain should benefit from other
activities
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 as well. The sole reason why people find it appealing to encourage their
children
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 to attend additional lessons is their desire to increase their child's knowledge. Parents often want their young to stand out in a class and perform better than other students.
Furthermore
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, they wish their child to occupy a prestigious career as they grow. Parents are often concerned about providing their youth with a bright future and giving them extra lessons, they think, is a way to achieve
this
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. On contrary to
this
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, the effect of extra classes on a student's brain activity cannot be neglected.
First
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, intense learning in the early ages of human life can stimulate increased levels of stress, which can later evolve into depression. Some parents tend to dedicate the majority of their child's time to their studies,
as a result
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, they often end up obtaining high levels of anxiety, or mental pressure.
Second
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, the brain must
also
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 benefit from other
activities
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 than education,
such
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 as games or sport. Physical
activities
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,
such
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 as football, basketball are proved to develop the social skills of
children
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 and to build up confidence, which plays an important role in life. To conclude, I believe
children
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 need to participate in other
activities
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 along with learning since it will help them to gain social skills and increase their confidence,
hence
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, it is important to attend sports and play games in their free time.
Submitted by jaker.raimov on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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