The continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at present time. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?

#rise #world #population #humanity #time

For the past few

years

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,years

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a tremendous increase in the

population

has been observed. Some believe that

population

expansion is the prime concern of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

mankind. I agree with it completely. In the following paragraphs, I will put forth my views in detail. To commence with,

principal

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the principal

a principal

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reason for the increased birth rate is

lack

Correct article usage

the lack

show examples

of sex education. To elaborate,

people

do not have proper knowledge about

safe

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the safe

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period to avoid unwanted pregnancy along with the drawbacks of frequent

child bearing

Correct your spelling

childbearing

show examples

Thus

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the

show examples

number

of children would be increased in each family.

In addition

, certain religions command

people

to increase their

number

since it is the obligation of man to god. To explain, according to

such

doctrines, the creator would punish his disciples for not having enough offsprings.

For example

Christian

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the Christian

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and

Islam

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Islam's

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faith inculcate

such

beliefs in their followers.

Therefore

growth in

number

Change the article

a number

the number

show examples

people

due to

above

Correct article usage

the above

show examples

reasons could have a negative impact on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

mankind. To elaborate,

firstly

, with uncontrolled

population

expansion, resources to satisfy the needs of

emerging

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the emerging

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population

is inadequate.

Consequently

results in unhealthy competition between individuals for proper food,

accomodation

Correct your spelling

accommodation

and sanitation.

Secondly

excess

Change the article

an excess

the excess

show examples

number

people

could end up on aggressive environmental pollution which could

aggrevate

Correct your spelling

aggravate

the current situation.

For instance

, according to the UN,

primary

Add an article

the primary

show examples

reason behind the pollution is the

population

size.

Thus

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

could be reiterated the deleterious effects of

population

density on mankind. To conclude, in my opinion,

population

expansion

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

detrimental effects on humanity.

This

is due to unhealthy competition as well as encroachment on biodiversity.

Submitted by neethuchackochan on Tue Apr 20 2021

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

257 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.