IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that zoo are cruel and all zoos should closed.However, some people think zoo can help protect animals Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #zoo #zoos #animals
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Zoos
Use synonyms
 play a huge role in expanding
culture
Replace the word
cultural
show examples
 borders for humans. Taking
animals
Use synonyms
 under their freedom is a very awful situation.
First
Linking Words
 of
all
Add a comma
,all
show examples
 cages where
animals
Use synonyms
 live are small and sometimes dirty. Feeding
in particular
Linking Words
 time creates conditions when they forget their own hunting skills.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 some
zoos
Use synonyms
 use
animals
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 entertainment, getting additional money. As an example in some zoo creatures facing a long training period before
show
Add an article
the show
show examples
 and if they obey they are punished. All these non-normal acts can lead to closing those types of animal parks.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
zoos
Use synonyms
 respond to the process of protecting
animals
Use synonyms
. I wanted to say that species that live in nature faced
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 problem of losing food and continental migration caused by climate change. As an example some
animals
Use synonyms
 that we can count by two hands, are in Red book, people do illegal hunting. Solutions can be found by creating a mix of national parks and
zoos
Use synonyms
 that are very unique places with conditions almost like in wild nature because even recreated natural environments. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 I wanted to say that
zoos
Use synonyms
 with poor conditions need to be rebuilt.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, natural
zoos
Use synonyms
 need to be maintained and expanded for protecting animal purpose.
Submitted by psycled on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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