It is important for everyone, including young people, yo save money for their future.

#people #yo #money #future

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Money

Use synonyms

management has been considered a crucial skill among

people

Use synonyms

around the world. Some believe that saving

money

Use synonyms

for the future is not as important as happiness derived from spending

money

Use synonyms

on their interests,

while

Linking Words

many

people

Use synonyms

argue that saving

money

Use synonyms

is important for well-being in old age. In my opinion, I agree with the latter view, and the reasons supporting my perspective will be discussed in the following paragraphs. Nowadays, younger

generations

Use synonyms

, my generation, place less emphasis on

money

Use synonyms

than older

generations

Use synonyms

. Younger

generations

Use synonyms

tend to buy newly advertised items online,

such

Linking Words

as on social media, or offline.

For instance

Linking Words

, many students often buy new pouches solely because of their beauty or because other

people

Use synonyms

in their class have them. Even if they have a usable one, they tend to buy a new one to satisfy their needs or others, without awareness of its importance to their lives.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, older

people

Use synonyms

and some younger

generations

Use synonyms

believe that saving

money

Use synonyms

is still important because it can guarantee a quality of life as they age. It is undeniable that adults have many responsibilities.

For example

Linking Words

, elderly

people

Use synonyms

often have health problems that require a lot of

money

Use synonyms

for high-quality treatment.

Moreover

Linking Words

aging

Change the spelling

ageing

show examples

bodies may prevent

people

Use synonyms

from working

due to

Linking Words

limited abilities, meaning they will have less or no income. In my opinion, saving

money

Use synonyms

is a crucial skill that all

generations

Use synonyms

must pay attention to in order to live happily. Poor financial status in old age can cause mental health issues

such

Linking Words

as anxiety or depression, which can lead to many physical health problems. In conclusion, saving

money

Use synonyms

is very important not only for younger

generations

Use synonyms

but for everyone. Raising awareness and encouraging

people

Use synonyms

to save

money

Use synonyms

are

Change the verb form

show examples

crucial for a better society.

Submitted by narnrs1 on Sat Oct 12 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

To enhance task achievement, aim to provide a more in-depth exploration of both viewpoints and offer more balanced examples, ensuring each point is thoroughly developed.

coherence and cohesion

Improve coherence and cohesion by ensuring a smooth transition between points, using a variety of linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your essay.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussed viewpoints.

task achievement

Relevant examples are provided to illustrate key points, particularly the comparison between younger and older generations.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

296 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Today, many young people spend too much of their free time at shopping malls. This can be considered negative for young people and society generally. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
conducting classes, developing work programs for courses, assignments for practical and laboratory work,
<4
band
Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skill. Do you agree or disagree?
there is no denying the fact that some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skill. contemporaneousiy while it is a commonly held belief that usually people say that in all levels of education,
<4
band
many woman are getting more addicted to cosmetic surgery these days,why is this? whart sort of solutions you would recommend to reduce this phenomenon?
The majority of women are becoming dependent on cosmetic surgery nowadays. The continues pressure to look beautiful has pushed many women towards unnecessary and costly procedures.
7
band
Nowadays, traffic is a serious problem in big cities. Why this is so and what effects does it bring?
In this day and age, traffic congestion has become a huge problem in many developed cities. I believe the reasons for this are the ever-climbing number of vehicles and poor traffic discipline. Like any problem, this can also be fixed. People can take public transport rather than travel in their own vehicles, and governments can take the initiative and make traffic rules stricter.
5.5
band
The rise of social media has affected personal relationships a society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social for communication outweigh the disadvantages?
In today’s digital era, personal relationships and society at large have been impacted by the rise of social media. The author of this essay considers that he benefits of enabling individuals to communicate with their loved ones no matter where they are and providing chances for global friendship outweigh the drawback of the critic's concerns.

It is important for everyone, including young people, yo save money for their future.

Your opinion

Today, many young people spend too much of their free time at shopping malls. This can be considered negative for young people and society generally. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skill. Do you agree or disagree?

many woman are getting more addicted to cosmetic surgery these days,why is this? whart sort of solutions you would recommend to reduce this phenomenon?

Nowadays, traffic is a serious problem in big cities. Why this is so and what effects does it bring?

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships a society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social for communication outweigh the disadvantages?