It is important for everyone, including young people, yo save money for their future.

Money
management has been considered a crucial skill among
people
around the world. Some believe that saving
money
for the future is not as important as happiness derived from spending
money
on their interests,
while
many
people
argue that saving
money
is important for well-being in old age. In my opinion, I agree with the latter view, and the reasons supporting my perspective will be discussed in the following paragraphs. Nowadays, younger
generations
, my generation, place less emphasis on
money
than older
generations
. Younger
generations
tend to buy newly advertised items online,
such
as on social media, or offline.
For instance
, many students often buy new pouches solely because of their beauty or because other
people
in their class have them. Even if they have a usable one, they tend to buy a new one to satisfy their needs or others, without awareness of its importance to their lives.
On the other hand
, older
people
and some younger
generations
believe that saving
money
is still important because it can guarantee a quality of life as they age. It is undeniable that adults have many responsibilities.
For example
, elderly
people
often have health problems that require a lot of
money
for high-quality treatment.
Moreover
,
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
bodies may prevent
people
from working
due to
limited abilities, meaning they will have less or no income. In my opinion, saving
money
is a crucial skill that all
generations
must pay attention to in order to live happily. Poor financial status in old age can cause mental health issues
such
as anxiety or depression, which can lead to many physical health problems. In conclusion, saving
money
is very important not only for younger
generations
but for everyone. Raising awareness and encouraging
people
to save
money
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
crucial for a better society.
Submitted by narnrs1 on

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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, aim to provide a more in-depth exploration of both viewpoints and offer more balanced examples, ensuring each point is thoroughly developed.
coherence and cohesion
Improve coherence and cohesion by ensuring a smooth transition between points, using a variety of linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your essay.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussed viewpoints.
task achievement
Relevant examples are provided to illustrate key points, particularly the comparison between younger and older generations.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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