It is important for everyone, including young people, yo save money for their future.
Money
management has been considered a crucial skill among people
around the world. Some believe that saving money
for the future is not as important as happiness derived from spending money
on their interests, while
many people
argue that saving money
is important for well-being in old age. In my opinion, I agree with the latter view, and the reasons supporting my perspective will be discussed in the following paragraphs.
Nowadays, younger generations
, my generation, place less emphasis on money
than older generations
. Younger generations
tend to buy newly advertised items online, such
as on social media, or offline. For instance
, many students often buy new pouches solely because of their beauty or because other people
in their class have them. Even if they have a usable one, they tend to buy a new one to satisfy their needs or others, without awareness of its importance to their lives.
On the other hand
, older people
and some younger generations
believe that saving money
is still important because it can guarantee a quality of life as they age. It is undeniable that adults have many responsibilities. For example
, elderly people
often have health problems that require a lot of money
for high-quality treatment. Moreover
, aging
bodies may prevent Change the spelling
ageing
people
from working due to
limited abilities, meaning they will have less or no income. In my opinion, saving money
is a crucial skill that all generations
must pay attention to in order to live happily. Poor financial status in old age can cause mental health issues such
as anxiety or depression, which can lead to many physical health problems.
In conclusion, saving money
is very important not only for younger generations
but for everyone. Raising awareness and encouraging people
to save money
are
crucial for a better society.Change the verb form
is
Submitted by narnrs1 on
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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, aim to provide a more in-depth exploration of both viewpoints and offer more balanced examples, ensuring each point is thoroughly developed.
coherence and cohesion
Improve coherence and cohesion by ensuring a smooth transition between points, using a variety of linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your essay.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussed viewpoints.
task achievement
Relevant examples are provided to illustrate key points, particularly the comparison between younger and older generations.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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