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Writing Samples
Band 8.5

In many parts of the world children and teenagers are committing more crimes. Why is the case happening? How should children and teenagers should be punished?

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It cannot be denied that today’s youth are engaged in criminal activities like theft, smuggling, etc. in various places of the world.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explicate the two causes of
this
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 phenomena and explain how we can tackle
this
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 obstacle in the coming years.
Firstly
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, the primary reason for
this
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 occurrence is lack of social education which means that those children have not been taught about the social values and norms which is essential to become a kind and successful person. To mitigate it, the possible reason to halt
this
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 situation requires the legal authorities intervention as the government can impose some law to maintain the crime
such
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 as penalties, community service and anti-social behaviour order (ASBO).
Also
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, teenagers should be preserved by making some new legal laws. Another problem is the carelessness of parents during the period of growth. To explain it, there are many guardians who leave their children alone at home due to their busy schedule due to which the teenagers can feel lonely and get distracted.
For instance
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, a recent study of a media channel, NTV has revealed that ninety-five per cent of adolescents are spoiled because of their parents as well as the society. To cope with
this
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, people’s attitude should be changed to forage a compromise with their behaviour to protect the youth from committing crimes.
In addition
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, the government should
also
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 consider the reduction of
this
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 situation. In conclusion, lack of social awareness and parents guidance leads to affect the youngster future.
Also
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, these problems can be solved if human try to cope with the dire straits and balance between the work environment and the responsibility towards the children.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • juvenile delinquency
  • family unit breakdown
  • parental guidance
  • supervision
  • behavioral issues
  • media influence
  • violent video games
  • social media
  • peer pressure
  • social acceptance
  • economic disadvantage
  • lack of opportunities
  • mental health issues
  • underlying psychological problems
  • rehabilitative measures
  • community service
  • counseling
  • educational programs
  • deterrent
  • reintegrate into society
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