Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams while other people think that taking part in individual sports like tennis or swimming is better. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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People have differing views about the advantages of engaging in discrete types of sports. some argue that it is more profitable to take part in solitary activities

While

others including myself consider group exercises to be better for participating. On one hand, individual sports are optimal at some points.

This

can help build the characteristics of self-confidence and independence in one’s personality, which can significantly affect adult life as far as work-related opportunities.

Furthermore

such

solo activities introduce an element of competitiveness to people’s behavior which all contribute to outperforming others when it’s necessary.

For example

, the blend of

such

features can provide a person with better function in a job interview.

However

, singular practices

for instance

, walking, cycling and skating can provide private time which is an adequate way to focus on particular aspects of personal life and improve them as well.

On the other hand

, teamwork has not only been preferred as a sport but

also

has been chosen as a social activity for recreation times.

In addition

, it is suggested by the majority of psychologists to take part in grouped activities as it is associated with social life and preserve elderlies from deterioration and dementia.

While

it can enhance the competency of collaborating and appear as a source of motivation to peers, it can

also

bring healthy rivalry to teammates that encourages the sense of competition as well.

Moreover

, cooperating and trying to achieve the same goal as others increases commitment in individuals and in the same way, helps build a connection that would culminate in making valuable friendships and being more sociable.

As a result

, it makes it accessible for everyone to learn from other’s experiences and share their own as well. in conclusion, I can understand the reasons why some people intend to join the sports which are played singularly, but it seems to me that the peripheral usefulness of the togetherness of some training is more brightened

Submitted by mwoodman2 on Thu Jul 18 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to improve the logical flow of ideas by better organizing the structure of your arguments. Use linking words and phrases more effectively to guide the reader through your essay.

coherence cohesion

You have successfully presented an introduction and conclusion, which frame your essay nicely.

task achievement

Your essay covers both sides of the argument, providing a well-rounded discussion.

task achievement

Including examples such as job interviews and the recommendations of psychologists strengthens your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

323 words

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Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams while other people think that taking part in individual sports like tennis or swimming is better. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some would argue that most of the employees who wear a uniform at the office gives good impression. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

With the development of the media online, there is no future for the radio. To what extent do you agree?

It is often said that retirement is the happiest time of a person’s life. How far do you agree with this view?

Scientist agree that many eat too much junk food and it is damaging their health. Some think that this problem can be solved by educating people while others believe education will not work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Describe a difficult task that you completed at work/study that you felt proud of. You should say: what the task was how you completed it why the task was difficult why you were proud of the completion of the task