Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams while other people think that taking part in individual sports like tennis or swimming is better. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #part #sports #teams #tennis

People have differing views about the advantages of engaging in discrete types of sports. some argue that it is more profitable to take part in solitary activities

While

others including myself consider group exercises to be better for participating. On one hand, individual sports are optimal at some points.

This

can help build the characteristics of self-confidence and independence in one’s personality, which can significantly affect adult life as far as work-related opportunities.

Furthermore

such

solo activities introduce an element of competitiveness to people’s behavior which all contribute to outperforming others when it’s necessary.

For example

, the blend of

such

features can provide a person with better function in a job interview.

However

, singular practices

for instance

, walking, cycling and skating can provide private time which is an adequate way to focus on particular aspects of personal life and improve them as well.

On the other hand

, teamwork has not only been preferred as a sport but

also

has been chosen as a social activity for recreation times.

In addition

, it is suggested by the majority of psychologists to take part in grouped activities as it is associated with social life and preserve elderlies from deterioration and dementia.

While

it can enhance the competency of collaborating and appear as a source of motivation to peers, it can

also

bring healthy rivalry to teammates that encourages the sense of competition as well.

Moreover

, cooperating and trying to achieve the same goal as others increases commitment in individuals and in the same way, helps build a connection that would culminate in making valuable friendships and being more sociable.

As a result

, it makes it accessible for everyone to learn from other’s experiences and share their own as well. in conclusion, I can understand the reasons why some people intend to join the sports which are played singularly, but it seems to me that the peripheral usefulness of the togetherness of some training is more brightened

Submitted by mwoodman2 on Thu Jul 18 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to improve the logical flow of ideas by better organizing the structure of your arguments. Use linking words and phrases more effectively to guide the reader through your essay.

coherence cohesion

You have successfully presented an introduction and conclusion, which frame your essay nicely.

task achievement

Your essay covers both sides of the argument, providing a well-rounded discussion.

task achievement

Including examples such as job interviews and the recommendations of psychologists strengthens your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

323 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams while other people think that taking part in individual sports like tennis or swimming is better. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think young people are not suitable for important position in the government while other people think it is a good idea for young people to take on the positions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is important for people to take risks, in both their professional lives and personal lives. Do the advantages of taking these risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Money is important in most people’s lives. Although some people think it is more important than others. What do you feel are the right uses of money? What other factors are important for a good life?

Is there advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some ways? Why is this? do you think it is a positive or negative development?