Some people believe that education in certain countries do not cater to the economic needs of society. What are the drawbacks of this education system and mention some solutions.

#people #education #countries #society #system

Education is a solution to almost every worry of a nation yet there some denizens of few

countries

believe that it does not serve the economic aspect, because of the poorly designed education system. The following paragraphs will discuss the possible reasons for

such

a problem and propose a handful of remedial measures. To embark with, the conspicuous rationale as to why schooling is not fruitful for society, because the cost of it is quite high that everyone cannot afford it,

consequently

, rise in illiteracy and less number of people working towards the development of the province.

For example

, In

countries

like Afghanistan, parents prefer to send their children to do labour

jobs

because they cannot pay the school fee. Sadly, those children may never have any future to come out of

this

vicious cycle. Another contributing factor is the lack of white-collar

jobs

in a country, which results in most graduates migrate to another country with better

jobs

and life.

Therefore

, the aforementioned reasons depict a clear picture of why education is not fulfiling the wealthy needs of certain

countries

. Undoubtedly, every lock has a key.

Similarly

, some solutions should be implemented to overcome

this

issue too.

Firstly

, tuition fee should be as low as possible if authorities cannot afford to make it free

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

so that the maximum number of people can be benefitted from it.

For instance

, free studies or lesser fee will help the majority of citizens to get a chance to graduate and eventually drive the nation towards its betterment.

In addition

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

this

Change preposition

to this

show examples

, it is

Correct article usage

the

show examples

responsibility of

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

to create better

jobs

, so that they can give a reason to their youth not to move to western

countries

and help build a better place.

Hence

, it makes it apparent by implementing a better system can help to solve a state's economic problems. To conclude, in consideration of the above analysis it is ostensible to say that with the best foot forward from citizens and government

such

an issue can be tackled and solve

many

Replace the quantifier

much

show examples

forthcoming

crisis

Change to a plural noun

crises

show examples

Submitted by d.khiwani92 on Wed Apr 21 2021

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

341 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

When you learn a foreign language, all four skills（listening, reading, speaking and writing) are equally important. To what extent do you agree or disagree？

Motorways help people travel quickly and cover long distances but they also cause problems. What are the problems of motorway and what solutions are there?

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.