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Band 5

Some people say that technology such as mobile phones (cell phones) is destroying social interaction. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #technology #phones #cell #interaction
Technology
 is flourishing by leaps and bounds in each and every field. After
invention
Add an article
the invention
show examples
 of
technology
Add a comma
,technology
show examples
 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 are addicted
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
 using. A fair amount of
people
 believe that social communication is destroyed by
technology
such
 as mobile phone. I strongly agree with
this
 statement. Because
now-a-days
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
 human not using mobile
instead
 of mobile using man.
To begin
 with,
There
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there
show examples
 are many
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
 to I support
this
 argument.
First
 and foremost,
people
 do not have
Correct your spelling
interest
intrest
Correct article usage
the intrest
show examples
 to direct interact with
surrounding
Add an article
the surrounding
a surrounding
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 person.
This
 means they are addicted to
use
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using
show examples
electronic
Add an article
an electronic
the electronic
show examples
 device.
Therefore
, they do not prefer
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
 conversation.
Secondly
, in
this
 modern
era
Add a comma
,era
show examples
people
 do not have time to straight talk. Because they are always running to earn money.
In addition
, current days folks
are have
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have
show examples
 more commitments.
For example
, according to the survey more than 90% of
people
 holding
Add an article
the smart
a smart
show examples
smart phone
Correct your spelling
smartphone
show examples
 to around the world.
Moreover
, irrefutably
technology
 gives more benefits well as more convenient compare than ever before.
In other words
, we can
sent
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send
be sent
show examples
 a message or news
with in
Correct your spelling
within
show examples
 a fraction of seconds.
As a result
,
this
save
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saves
show examples
lot
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a lot
show examples
 of time and avoid going outside too.
Furthermore
, android phones
are not only use
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are not only used
are not only using
show examples
 communication purpose but
also
 use
entertainment oriented
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entertainment-oriented
show examples
.
Therefore
, civilians will not prefer to outside
speak
Replace the word
speakers
show examples
. To conclude, irrefutably
technology
 is a part of our life. We are not able to
surviving
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survive
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 without any
technology
 because we are addicted.
Eventhough
Correct your spelling
Even though
 we should talk with our
neighbors
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neighbours
show examples
 face-to-face.
This
 can create tons of relationship along with making friends too.
My
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In my
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 point of view we should out
from
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for
show examples
long
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a long
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 time and
continously
Correct your spelling
continuously
 using mobiles.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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