IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries, the number of people who visit art galleries is declining . What are the reasons for this ? How we cand solve this problem

#countries #people #visit #art #galleries #cand
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The visits to
art
exhibition
 are decreasing day by day in many countries because of technology and
government
.
This
 essay has intended the causes of
this
 problem and providing a possible solution to get more attention from people. There are many factors that one find more interesting than visiting an
art
 gallery.Nowadays we can get a vivid and clear picture of different
art
 and
also
 can read about the artist in detail on the
internet
 which we can get easy access to anywhere.
for instance
, the individual who wants to know about famous artist vincent van and his painting does not need to
visit
art
 galleries as he can search on the
internet
.
secondly
,the theatres and other drama company have given a good impression on children,because of that they prefer to watch television or movie rather than
visit
art
 galleries.
moreover
,the
government
 is spending more revenue on sports and theatre rather than an
art
exhibition
. there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 some solution which can increase the visits to the
art
 museum.
firstly
 the
internet
 should have limited access to details and pictures which make a person
visit
 the
art
 galleries,
Secondly
 parents should be taught their children
to
Change preposition
about
show examples
 the importance of
art
 museums and should take them to
visit
 regularly.
last
 but not least, the
government
 should spend enough money on an
art
exhibition
 to make them attractive rather than spending on theatre and sports. The people are losing interest to
visit
 museums and spent their most of time on theatre and the
internet
.parent should thaught their kids to the importance of artistic talent and the
government
 should encourage people to more
visit
 the
exhibition
.
Submitted by hena on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: