IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In major cities around the world, traffic congestion has become a serious problem. How can this problem be tackled? Give reasons and examples from your own experience

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Traffic
congestion
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 has become a critical issue in major cities worldwide, causing many problems in
people
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's daily lives
such
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 as increased
commutes
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commute
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 time and environmental degradation.
While
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 the problem may seem insurmountable, there are several strategies that can be implemented to mitigate
congestion
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. These include improving public
transportation
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 systems and promoting alternative modes of
transportation
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. In
this
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 essay, I will explain how these strategies can effectively alleviate traffic
congestion
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. One of the most effective ways to address
congestion
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 is by improving the management of public
transportation
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. A robust public management system can be fundamental in reducing
congestion
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 on the road. By providing reliable, efficient, affordable public
transportation
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,
people
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 are likely to use public buses, trains, and subways
instead
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 of personal cars.
For instance
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, in my city,
Jakarta
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, the government managed to establish a well-developed one-way integrated
transportation
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 system including
buses-trans
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buses and
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jakarta
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, mono-rail trains, and public transport vans that are interconnected to each other at affordable prices. It facilitates
people
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 to commute using public
transportation
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 to go around the city.
As a result
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, many residents start to choose public
transportation
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 and leave their private cars at home.
This
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 situation contributes to decreasing the number of vehicles on the road and alleviating
congestion
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. Another viable solution is promoting alternative modes of
transportation
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such
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 as cycling and walking. Developing bicycle lanes and pedestrian-friendly areas can encourage
people
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 to cycle or walk
instead
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 of using their private vehicles, particularly for short distances.
This
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 shift can substantially reduce the
congestion
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 on the road and the footprint which promotes a healthier lifestyle and sustainable urban environment.
For example
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,
Jakarta
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's government extended bike lanes and made it across all areas in
Jakarta
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. Many
people
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 in
Jakarta
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 started to shift from using private motorcycles and cars to cycling, even walking when it is for short distances.
Therefore
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, the number of vehicles in
Jakarta
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 rapidly decreased and the air quality is getting better
due to
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 reducing footprints. In conclusion, traffic
congestion
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 is a major issue that can be tackled through a combination of improving robust public
transportation
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 systems and promoting alternative modes of
transportation
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such
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 as cycling and walking. As urban populations resume growing, the government needs to maintain and prioritise these solutions to ensure sustainability and efficient
transportation
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 systems in the future.

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task achievement
While your examples and points are relevant, consider using a broader range of examples, possibly internationally, to show a wider understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Vary your sentence structures to make your essay more engaging.
task achievement
Your essay clearly identifies the problem and suggests multiple viable solutions.
coherence cohesion
The argument is logically structured, with a strong introduction and conclusion that reinforce your main ideas.
task achievement
You successfully use relevant examples to support your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • public transportation system
  • carpooling
  • ride-sharing apps
  • bicycle lanes
  • pedestrian-friendly
  • congestion pricing
  • peak hours
  • technological solutions
  • smart traffic lights
  • real-time traffic management
  • telecommuting
  • flexible working hours
  • daily commuters
  • road networks
  • rush hours
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