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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that mobile phones are harmful for children while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #phones #children
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Mobile is a vital part of human life. It is sometimes argued that the
use
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 of smartphones is unhealthy for youngsters. I completely agree with
this
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 statement.
This
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 essay will address both opinions. Considering the advantages of mobile
phone
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.
Firstly
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, the whole world has gone digital during
this
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 pandemic and
phone
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 were proven to be very beneficial. As all the classes went online students used their
phone
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 to access the classes,
also
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 the study material on the internet.
Children
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use
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 smartphones in a lot of ways, they can
use
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 them for academics, for entertainment, to be in contact with their family while they are away from home. Another advantage is that parents can
use
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 GPS in phones to know where their
children
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 are and be relaxed.
On the contrary
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,
children
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 waste their time on the
phone
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 using social media, chatting with their friends, playing games. They get addicted to games and harm themselves. There have been active cases of
children
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 playing some game on the internet and doing dares and committing suicide.
This
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 affects
children
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 badly, they become arrogant, they do not like to socialize with other
children
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.
Moreover
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,
children
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use
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 their parents account online for buying games due to which they lose a huge amount of money.
Also
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, the radiation from phones is very lethal for everyone. In my opinion, parents should regulate the
use
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 of phones by their
children
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. They should teach them the right way. To conclude, technology should be used as needed anything in excess is dangerous.
Submitted by Jagdeep Kaur on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • excessive screen time
  • health problems
  • eye strain
  • poor posture
  • disrupted sleep patterns
  • inappropriate content
  • addiction
  • reliance
  • impair
  • social skills
  • educational tools
  • digital literacy
  • mitigated
  • parental guidance
  • safeguards
  • responsible use
  • monitored
  • development
  • benefits
  • risks
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