IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some adopt the view that the extinction of several rare plants and animals is the most significant environmental problem,
while
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 others think that there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 still
rooms
Fix the agreement mistake
room
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 for other problems. Both views of
this
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 argument will be discussed in the essay below before my view is drawn
at the end
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. On the one hand, it is understandable why the loss of endangered species is a core environmental issue. It is said that an unbalanced biodiversity is attributed to the consequences of
this
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 case. Having said that, those specific types dramatically contribute to diverse biodiversity. If there were a disappearance of any fauna and flora, their relationships would be affected,
such
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 as food chains.
Therefore
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,
this
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 issue is believed to be the primary matter.
On the other hand
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, it is noticeable that global warming is a more concerning problem because of its negative downsides. The fact is that greenhouse gases,
for instance
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, carbon dioxide and methane, trap heat into the atmosphere, causing the Earth to warm.
This
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 would lead to extreme climate change, resulting in detrimental impacts not only on
human's
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human
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 lives but on plants and animals as well.
For example
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,
while
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 there is little or no rain in some areas, other places suffer from floods, pushing many species on the verge of extinction and humans living in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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harsh conditions.
Hence
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,
this
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 issue should prioritized. In conclusion, I strongly believe that global warming should be taken into consideration over the loss of some plants and animals
due to
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 its significant disadvantages.

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task achievement
The introduction clearly presents both views and states that your opinion will be given at the end. However, providing a more explicit thesis statement could enhance clarity.
task achievement
Examples could be more specific and detailed to better illustrate and support your main points. Adding more precise data or case studies can strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. While your essay is logically organized, using a variety of linking words (e.g., "furthermore," "additionally") could improve cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Conclude each paragraph with a sentence that reinforces the main idea, adding more emphasis on your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which enhances readability and logical flow.
task achievement
You have successfully discussed both sides of the issue and provided a well-reasoned opinion, which meets the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
The use of relevant vocabulary and varied sentence structures enriches the quality of your writing.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
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