In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinions on this?

There is a debate on whether or not children should engage in
work
in
job
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a job
the job

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. Some people opine that it is totally wrong, while,
other
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others

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beleive
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believe

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that it will help them to learn valuable skills
thriugh
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through

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paid
work
. In my
opinion
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,opinion

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it is
prominent
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a prominent

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decision to
work
as it will bring out some skills as well as children will become self-dependent and can take
decision
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a decision
the decision

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.
To begin
with, children can learn so much content who are doing any kind of occupation. they can learn so
much
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many

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precious skills
such
as communication skill which are not taught to kids in regular school classes and it is extremely fruitful to adulthood.
Therefore
, teenagers can later produce
a
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apply

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better and positive result later in their life. Moving
further
, getting sufficient funds from
work
make infants self-dependent which help them to improve the lifestyle and standard of living.
For instance
, many adults struggled in meeting their basic needs as they feel shy to ask for money from their parents so with their
earning
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earnings

The word earning doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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they can bear the expenses.
Moreover
,
decision making
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decision-making

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skill
also
learned as
it
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they

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will help them in future. It will happen only when
a
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an

The article a may be incorrect. Consider changing it to agree with the beginning sound of the following word infant.

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infant
join
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joins

The plural verb join does not appear to agree with the singular subject a infant. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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the
employement
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employment

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, they will learn to tackle
with
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apply

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the issue. To conclude, in my
opinion
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,opinion

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it is very beneficial to engage in
work
as it
bring
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brings

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out
best
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the best

The noun phrase best quality seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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quality of youngsters.
Submitted by arpitsandhu001 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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