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Band 4

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinions on this?

#countries #children #work #people #responsibility
There is a debate on whether or not children should engage in
work
 in
job
Add an article
a job
the job
show examples
 . Some people opine that it is totally wrong, while,
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
 that it will help them to learn valuable skills
thriugh
Correct your spelling
through
 paid
work
 . In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 it is
prominent
Correct article usage
a prominent
show examples
 decision to
work
 as it will bring out some skills as well as children will become self-dependent and can take
decision
Add an article
a decision
the decision
show examples
.
To begin
 with, children can learn so much content who are doing any kind of occupation. they can learn so
much
Change the quantifier
many
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 precious skills
such
 as communication skill which are not taught to kids in regular school classes and it is extremely fruitful to adulthood.
Therefore
, teenagers can later produce
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better and positive result later in their life. Moving
further
, getting sufficient funds from
work
 make infants self-dependent which help them to improve the lifestyle and standard of living.
For instance
, many adults struggled in meeting their basic needs as they feel shy to ask for money from their parents so with their
earning
Correct your spelling
earnings
show examples
 they can bear the expenses.
Moreover
,
decision making
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decision-making
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 skill
also
 learned as
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 will help them in future. It will happen only when
a
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an
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 infant
join
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joins
show examples
 the
employement
Correct your spelling
employment
 , they will learn to tackle
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the issue. To conclude, in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
,opinion
show examples
 it is very beneficial to engage in
work
 as it
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
 out
best
Add an article
the best
show examples
 quality of youngsters.
Submitted by arpitsandhu001 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Child labor
  • Exploitation
  • Minimum age
  • Work experience
  • Survival
  • Taking responsibility
  • Education
  • Poverty
  • Legal restrictions
  • Physical toll
  • Psychological impact
  • Cultural perceptions
  • International conventions
  • Economic impact
  • Work-study programs
  • Skilled labor
  • Unskilled labor
  • Developing economies
  • Moral implications
  • Professional development
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