Some people believe that money is the most important factor for achieving happiness. however, others believe that happiness has nothing to do with money. Do you agree or disagree and give your opinion

Does
money
brings
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bring

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peace and
tranquility
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tranquillity

The spelling of tranquility is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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in
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to

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one’s
life
? Some believe it is the key
for
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to

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happiness
while others are of opinion that it is not of much significance.I partially agree
to
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with

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this
statement and the same shall be discussed
further
in
this
essay. On the one hand, folks who are of opinion that
money
is important for achieving
happiness
thinks
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think

The verb thinks does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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so because, right from basic needs of
life
to luxury, everything comes with a price tag.we certainly need
money
to fulfil our demands.
for
example
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,example

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people who are affordable send their children to high standard schools to gain better knowledge and
who
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those who

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are not affordable may be forced to send to local schools, where
standard
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the standard

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of education might not be up to the mark.
futhermore
Correct your spelling
furthermore

The word futhermore is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

, in today’s materialistic world,it is
the
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apply

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money
that creates respect in
the
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apply

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society. High financial status people are honoured and looked upon.
Hence
,
money
is considered
as
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apply

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a status symbol. to illustrate those who have high income amongst all in the community are given power and made head of the community.Needless to say, with
money
in hand ,one can lead a peaceful and comfortable
life
.
On the other hand
, persons who are of
notion
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the notion

The noun phrase notion seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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that
money
can’t buy everything and owning high earnings merely
doesnot
Correct your spelling
does not
doesn't

The word doesnot is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

bring joy
think
Add the particle
to think

It appears that the verb think should be in the to-infinitive form. Consider adding the word to.

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so because sublime things like internal satisfaction, friendship, love and health cannot be bought with
money
.A
persons
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person

It appears that the noun persons is being used as an adjective, but you may have chosen incorrectly between the singular and plural form. Consider changing the noun form.

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level of
happiness
do not increase with
money
.
for instance
people may be rich but lonely and land into depression .
however
, a poor man will be happy with his family and friends by his side.
hence
,it is true that
money
can buy
lot
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a lot

It appears that the phrase lot does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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of things but not
happiness
. In conclusion, I believe that
although
money
is required to lead a decent
life
it is not only the key factor for
happiness
Submitted by Leena Kapoor on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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