Discipline is an ever increasing problem in modern schools. Some people think that discipline should be the responsibility of teachers,while others think that this is a role of parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people reckon that teachers are responsible for
discipline
in
schools
today; some others believe that students should learn
discipline
by
Change preposition
from

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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their families. Needless to say, nowadays,
discipline
has become a major problem in
schools
. I reckon that the process of
discipline
learning starts
by
Change preposition
with

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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parents
and continuous in school; remember always
start
Correct article usage
the start

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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point has more importance. There are some people who believe that
discipline
should be learnt during the process of
education
by teachers and
parents
are not responsible for their
children
's
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour

The spelling of behavior is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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. In my opinion, teachers are responsible for
discipline
learning in
schools
especially primary
schools
but it doesn’t mean that family environment has no importance. According to the statistics, most of the young lawbreakers in
community
Add an article
the community

The noun phrase community seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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have grown up in an inappropriate environment in their family and they have continued their
education
also
;
therefore
,
children
should learn
discipline
at home
first
and
then
complete their learning in school.
On the other hand
, some individuals think that learning
discipline
is one of the duties of
a good
Correct the article-noun agreement
a good parent
good parents

The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun parents in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

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parents
. According to the psychologist researches,
children
have a great potential to learn new things at their
first
ages before they go to school;
thus
, if
parents
pay enough attention to learning
discipline
to their
children
before they start their
education
, it will be more effective than any other time. In conclusion,
parents
and
schools
have considerable duties to learn
discipline
Add an article
the discipline

The noun phrase discipline seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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to pupils and
children
and both of them have own role. Eventually, I reckon that learning
discipline
is one of the good
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'

It appears that the word parents should use the genitive case. Consider changing the noun.

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duties and
children
should know
discipline
before they begin their
education
process; meanwhile,
schools
also
have
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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role in learning
discipline
.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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