Many teenagers now have their own smart phone. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this and give your own opinion.

It is a fact that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
technology has been developed tremendously
besides
, these days numerous youth using their own smart cell
phones
.
This
essay will substantiate both merits and demerits in the following paragraph with relevant examples and my own opinion in the conclusion. Smartphone has become a small world that we carry everywhere we go. Because of advanced technology youth become smarter and smarter despite the fact, it has some downsides,
such
as excessive use of smartphones will harm individuals eyesight as well as give some mental stress.
For example
, the
study
of Boston university-related excessive uses of cellphones by
teenagers
shows it divided youngsters divided into two groups
first
, who
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
smartphones and others who do not have or have a normal phone which
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
not have any
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
facilities. The result was appalling,
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
group got very
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
marks on the exam and
others
Correct article usage
the others
show examples
scored much higher
Change preposition
than then
show examples
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
group on
exam
Add an article
the exam
an exam
show examples
.
On the other hand
, online
study
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
so much popular in
this
mordern
Correct your spelling
modern
world. These
pandamic
Correct your spelling
pandemic
days masses got to know the value of internet along with the important uses of gadgets.
For instance
,
this
Change preposition
in this
show examples
covid-19 situation all schools, colleges altogether with other short term classes are become online and because of that
smart
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
phones
really useful for
teenagers
to join the classes while seating at home. Not only
teenagers
uses
Change the verb form
use
show examples
their cell
phones
for entertainment like watching movies, playing games, you name it, but
also
they use
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
for
study
purposes.
In addition
, Booking movie tickets, paying bills as well as getting information related
study
Fix the infinitive
to study
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
becoming effortless.
Nevertheless
,
smart
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
phones
plays
Change the verb form
play
show examples
a vital role in an individuals life.
For example
, because of
this
small gadget we keep up with the world, got to know
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
updates, trends like what is going around,
this
all is knowing easier through the online news or mobile applications. To conclude, considering above mentioned points it is evident that,
although
it has some drawbacks
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
do believe that, it has more positive sides which lead
teenagers
to a successful career.
Submitted by ankitacommon on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • communication
  • access to information
  • safety and security
  • entertainment
  • educational opportunities
  • addiction
  • excessive screen time
  • cyberbullying
  • online harassment
  • distraction
  • lack of focus
  • privacy concerns
  • social disconnection
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • opinion
  • outweigh
  • limits
  • screen time
  • online safety
What to do next:
Look at other essays: