IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

In spite of advances made in agriculture , many people around the world still go hungry . Why is this the cause ? What can be done about this problem

#spite #advances #agriculture #people #world
However
 ,recently , the
agriculture
 industry has developed , many hungry
people
 have been observed in the
world
 . In the following essay , the reason for
this
 problem and its ' solution will be discussed . The power full reason for observing starveling around the
world
 would be the fact that availability of the advances in
agriculture
 is not possible and comfortable for the whole of the communities and
countries
 .
For instance
 , poverty in some
societies
 and regions has been visited .
Moreover
 , it is impossible to achieve industrialization in horticulture for some public and
countries
 . So , if it is not available to use or be familiar with advances or technological
agriculture
 for
people
 in the
world
such
 as poor areas , hunger will not have been omitted by the
next
 10 or 20 years . A collaboration between the governments and
people
 in the reach
countries
 would be
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a perfect solution and a
frankly
Change the adverb
frank
show examples
 activity for preventing
people
 from starvation in the
world
 .
For example
 , if some financial
helps
Change the wording
help
bits of help
show examples
 are established and don by reach or wealthy
societies
 and governments for other zones in the
world
 , it will be influential to decline hunger in surrounding the
world
 .
Therefore
 , some charitable activities from the reaches can be effective to reduce the starvation issue . In conclusion , despite the fact that there is some development in
agriculture
 , some
societies
 are hungry in the
world
 because of the unavailability of facilities for some reason like poverty .
Furthermore
 , doing some financial help from wealthy
countries
 to other
societies
 will be a profitable solution .
Submitted by z.noori347 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: