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Writing Samples
Band 6

In spite of advances made in agriculture , many people around the world still go hungry . Why is this the cause ? What can be done about this problem

#spite #advances #agriculture #people #world
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However
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 ,recently , the
agriculture
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 industry has developed , many hungry
people
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 have been observed in the
world
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 . In the following essay , the reason for
this
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 problem and its ' solution will be discussed . The power full reason for observing starveling around the
world
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 would be the fact that availability of the advances in
agriculture
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 is not possible and comfortable for the whole of the communities and
countries
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 .
For instance
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 , poverty in some
societies
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 and regions has been visited .
Moreover
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 , it is impossible to achieve industrialization in horticulture for some public and
countries
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 . So , if it is not available to use or be familiar with advances or technological
agriculture
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 for
people
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 in the
world
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such
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 as poor areas , hunger will not have been omitted by the
next
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 10 or 20 years . A collaboration between the governments and
people
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 in the reach
countries
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 would be
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a perfect solution and a
frankly
Change the adverb
frank
show examples
 activity for preventing
people
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 from starvation in the
world
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 .
For example
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 , if some financial
helps
Change the wording
help
bits of help
show examples
 are established and don by reach or wealthy
societies
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 and governments for other zones in the
world
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 , it will be influential to decline hunger in surrounding the
world
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 .
Therefore
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 , some charitable activities from the reaches can be effective to reduce the starvation issue . In conclusion , despite the fact that there is some development in
agriculture
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 , some
societies
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 are hungry in the
world
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 because of the unavailability of facilities for some reason like poverty .
Furthermore
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 , doing some financial help from wealthy
countries
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 to other
societies
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 will be a profitable solution .
Submitted by z.noori347 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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