IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The use of phones,tablets, and other devices while walking in public places has been a concern for many commentstors. What hazards can arise if people are guided by such devices when walking down the street? How could these problems can be solved?

It has been observed that many individuals frequently use mobile phones, tablets, and similar devices
while
Linking Words
 walking in public spaces. There are several problems
due to
Linking Words
such
Linking Words
 a trend.
However
Linking Words
, some effective measures can be implemented to overcome the issue of digital distraction among pedestrians. Both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
aspects are discussed
further
Linking Words
. Analyzing the issues that arise, the foremost one is the increased risk of accidents. Pedestrians engrossed in their screens may unknowingly walk into traffic, poles, or other individuals, leading to injuries.
For example
Linking Words
, numerous cases have been reported where people crossing roads
while
Linking Words
 texting were hit by vehicles
due to
Linking Words
 lack of attention.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 disrupts the smooth flow of pedestrian movement. In crowded places, distracted individuals tend to walk slowly or unpredictably, which creates congestion and frustration among other walkers.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, some steps must be implemented to rectify these predicaments.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, awareness campaigns should be launched to highlight the dangers of using devices
while
Linking Words
 walking. Governments and municipal bodies can use posters, advertisements, and social media to spread the message about pedestrian safety.
Besides
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, designated lanes for device users can be created in busy urban zones.
For instance
Linking Words
, some cities in China have introduced separate walking paths for phone users, minimizing the risk of collisions and maintaining pedestrian order.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 there are several issues
due to
Linking Words
 the growing use of digital devices
while
Linking Words
 walking, taking steps
such
Linking Words
 as public awareness initiatives and creating special walking zones can solve the problems to a large extent.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Expand on the examples given and possibly include more specific statistics or studies related to accidents caused by distracted walking.
coherence and cohesion
Incorporate more transition words to enhance the flow between sentences and ideas.
task achievement
Consider providing a counterargument or discussing potential drawbacks of the proposed solutions in more depth.
coherence and cohesion
The essay presents a clear and relevant introduction and conclusion which effectively frames the discussion.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, such as the case of cities in China implementing designated lanes, strengthens the argument.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Preoccupied
  • Immediate surroundings
  • Potential hazards
  • Oncoming traffic
  • Uneven pavement
  • Collisions
  • Social interactions
  • Sense of community
  • Mental health
  • Over-reliance
  • Legislation
  • Awareness campaigns
  • Restrict
  • Distraction
  • Mindful walking
  • Infrastructural changes
  • Pedestrian lanes
  • Enhanced safety
What to do next:
Look at other essays: