IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In, the future more people will choose to go to holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you Agree or Disagree?

#future #people #holiday #country #travel
Travelling is
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 important activities which
people
 do to refresh. Some
people
 reckon that individual will travel to own
country
 while ,others have different opinions who believe that humans will travel abroad for
excursion
Add an article
an excursion
the excursion
show examples
,
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
,
culture
 and more on. So I agree with the
later
Correct your spelling
latter
show examples
 statement because of some reasons that
this
 essay will
discuessed
Correct your spelling
discussed
 below.
To begin
 with,
people
 are not going to stop travelling to different places located abroad due to many reasons.
Firstly
,
people
 will find beautiful places for
excursion
Add an article
an excursion
the excursion
show examples
 on
holiday
.
For instance
, many
people
 dream
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 Switzerland because it's
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
 beautiful
country
 on earth and
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
 to go on
holiday
.
Correct your spelling
Therefore
show examples
Therefor
Correct your spelling
Therefore
show examples
 I don'
t
 think
people
 will ever stop travelling. Nowadays in contemporary
era
Add a comma
,era
show examples
people
 has been modern and
every one
Replace the word
everyone
show examples
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
 to spend life with
modren
Correct your spelling
modern
 style because they are affluent and
spanthrift
Correct your spelling
spendthrift
 so they want to spend holidays in abroad rather than own
country
 because they want to learn different things from their
country
.
For
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
 if
people
 live in India so they have knowledge only native
culture
, lifestyle so they want to learn other tradition ,
culture
, lifestyle and more so that's why
people
 to go abroad on
holiday
.
Furthermore
, if
individual
Add an article
an individual
show examples
 do
job
Add an article
the job
a job
show examples
 on private company and they earn only fifteen thousand and they want to go abroad on
holiday
 but they can'
t
 go because for foreign excursion person should have more
expense
Replace the word
expensive
show examples
 so they can go.
Sothats
Correct your spelling
So that's
 Why everyone can'
t
 go
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
abroad on
holiday
. In conclusion, many
people
 say that individual will stop travelling to abroad, but I totally disagree with
this
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
show examples
 because we can'
t
 find
every thing
Correct your spelling
everything
show examples
 in own
country
such
 as
culture
 ,tradition, lifestyle so
this
 reason
people
 go
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
abroad on
holiday
.
Submitted by ieltsspeaking760 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • domestic tourism
  • international travel
  • cultural exchange
  • national pride
  • affordability
  • convenience
  • ecotourism
  • heritage sites
  • local businesses
  • comfort zone
What to do next:
Look at other essays: