Nowadays, we can watch entertainment performances from the screen (laptop, etc) and no need to watch it live. To what extend do you agree?

#entertainment #performances #screen #laptop

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Everyone loves a

live

Use synonyms

concert. All over the

world

Add a comma

world,

show examples

people

Use synonyms

go to see a

live

Use synonyms

performance

Use synonyms

of the entertainer. Today,

people

Use synonyms

watch

live

Use synonyms

programs on the

Correct your spelling

show examples

, a computer, and a smartphone. They do not need to visit the theatre or

stadium

Use synonyms

. I believe that life experience is far different from the

screen

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, I partially agree with the statement. Watching performances on

screen

Use synonyms

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

a predominant advantage,

that is

Linking Words

the whole family enjoy

entertainment

Correct article usage

an entertainment

show examples

show at

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

home. Some concert is held far away from their hometown. It saves

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

transportation

cost

Fix the agreement mistake

costs

show examples

Internet

Correct article usage

The Internet

show examples

helps a lot of

people

Use synonyms

to watch on a laptop, a computer, and a smartphone.

In addition

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

live

Use synonyms

concerts have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

expensive

ticket

Fix the agreement mistake

tickets

show examples

. Some

people

Use synonyms

cannot afford

this

Linking Words

. If their whole family is interested

to watch

Change preposition

in watching

show examples

this

Linking Words

then

Linking Words

it is truly costly.

Further

Linking Words

, on-

screen

Use synonyms

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

those

people

Use synonyms

who are disabled. They are urged to watch the

live

Use synonyms

show but they cannot go there because of their disability and another cause is that the

stadium

Use synonyms

is too much crowded with

people

Use synonyms

. There

Change the verb form

are

show examples

a few drawbacks of watching a

live

Use synonyms

performance

Use synonyms

screen

Use synonyms

is that

Verb problem

show examples

the energy of the entertainment

performance

Use synonyms

live

Rephrase

apply

show examples

is something extraordinary which can only

feel

Wrong verb form

be felt

show examples

through in that concert area.

Next,

Linking Words

many

live

Use synonyms

performances are organised for charity

purpose

Fix the agreement mistake

purposes

show examples

. The organiser sells a ticket to

people

Use synonyms

so that they can help needy

people

Use synonyms

. If folks watching through the

screen

Use synonyms

then

Linking Words

it is a big loss for them.

For example

Linking Words

, in India, back in 1992, Micheal

Jackson

Change noun form

Jackson's

show examples

live

Use synonyms

performance

Use synonyms

held

Add a missing verb

was held

show examples

at Mumbai

stadium

Use synonyms

. The organiser got a lot of money from

this

Linking Words

as well as

Linking Words

the performer too. Both helped the NGO and other

people

Use synonyms

with that money. In conclusion, the

screen

Use synonyms

easier our way to watch

live

Use synonyms

performances.

People

Use synonyms

watch their favourite

performer

Fix the agreement mistake

performers

show examples

the

Change the word

their

show examples

laptop

Fix the agreement mistake

laptops

show examples

but it can never fulfil the fun and enjoyment that can only

see

Wrong verb form

be seen

show examples

at the

stadium

Use synonyms

Submitted by rayatsahil7 on Sat May 08 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Ensure that all aspects of the prompt are addressed in the response.

coherence cohesion

Maintain a clear and logical structure throughout the essay.

lexical resource

Expand your vocabulary and use a wider range of words and phrases.

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structure, grammar, and punctuation.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

321 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
In some countries young people are not only richer, but also safer and healthier than ever before. However, they are often less happy. What do you think are the reasons for this and what can be done to help?
Today in some countries, although the young generation living a better life (richer, safer, and healthier) than ever before, some of them often feel not really happy with their life. In this essay, I will examine the factors that contribute towards this situation and propose some solutions to help them.
4.5
band
Countries should produce the food that their population eats, and import as little as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons, examples to your answer.
It is believed that producing food in country is better than import them from other areas. At first glance, it is important to understand the differences between importing or producing meals in many aspects such as costs and time.
5
band
Some people say that all people should stay in full-time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?
Individuals believe that all students under 18 years old have to study full-time. This writer disagrees with thisstatement as offspring suffer from a lack of social skills and easily get under pressure.
4.5
band
In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this
Nowadays, many people in different countries encourag students after finishing high school to take one year as a break to travel or work befor starting university studies. I firmly believe that idea it's benefits outweigh the drawbacks. Howerver, in this essay, I will discuss the advantages and disadvantages for this topic.
5
band
The internet provides us with information about life and cultures of different countries and some people say it is not necessary to visit these countries to learn about them. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion and relevant examples.
The Internet gives us information about life and cultures of other countries. Therefore, some people believe that it not necessary to visit other countries to learn about their cultures and life. I personally disagree with this viewpoint because visiting helps to experience other countries with someone's own eyes, and provides opportunity of interacting with people.

Nowadays, we can watch entertainment performances from the screen (laptop, etc) and no need to watch it live. To what extend do you agree?

In some countries young people are not only richer, but also safer and healthier than ever before. However, they are often less happy. What do you think are the reasons for this and what can be done to help?

Countries should produce the food that their population eats, and import as little as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons, examples to your answer.

Some people say that all people should stay in full-time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this

The internet provides us with information about life and cultures of different countries and some people say it is not necessary to visit these countries to learn about them. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion and relevant examples.