IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#say #people #age #work
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The advances in
medical
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the medical
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 field
has
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have
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 taken an immense leap forward due to which humans are now able to live a much healthier and longer life. Because of the extended life span, some
of
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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individuals believe that the retirement
age
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 should be exponentially increased. The world stands polarized on
this
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 issue. While, I believe that the older generation tends to
loose
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lose
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 the enthusiasm to work,
therefore
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, they should not be allowed to do so. As we know that while
recruting
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recruiting
 an employee, an employer
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looks
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look out
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lookout
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 for the experience that he holds. Even though
the
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apply
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aged
people
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has
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have
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 a lot of it,
however
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, after a certain period of time the cognitive abilities of human beings are supposed to tone down. For these reasons, most of the companies have set the limit on working
age
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, a 65 years old employee having dementia will have more chances of
commiting
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committing
 errors even though he might be having a probability of
greater
Correct article usage
a greater
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 lifespan. So, according to
me
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my
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, the restricted working
age
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 is meant to be a correct decision.
Furthermore
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, another considerable factor is that they have lived all of their lives by working for themselves, their families and for the economy.
Moreover
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, many times the elderly
people
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lives
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live
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 all by themselves, so in that case, the added pressure to earn their bread and butter may lead to different mental and emotional ailments like depression. To avoid
such
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 circumstances, the younger generation
as well as the government
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, as well as the government,
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 should give them a break from hectic working schedules and take care of these
people
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 in their
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old age
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old-
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old age
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age
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. In conclusion, apart from the fact that
the
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apply
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humans are now having
longer
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a longer
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 lifespan, the retirement
age
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 should be restricted because of the medical conditions that
people
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 may suffer from. After a particular
age
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,
people
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 who forcefully work may suffer from trauma and depression. It becomes our responsibility to nurture and protect the older generation.
Submitted by gargmitesh on

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