Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

The advances in
medical
Add an article
the medical
show examples
field
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
taken an immense leap forward due to which humans are now able to live a much healthier and longer life. Because of the extended life span, some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals believe that the retirement
age
should be exponentially increased. The world stands polarized on
this
issue. While, I believe that the older generation tends to
loose
Replace the word
lose
show examples
the enthusiasm to work,
therefore
, they should not be allowed to do so. As we know that while
recruting
Correct your spelling
recruiting
an employee, an employer
Change the verb form
looks
show examples
look out
Correct your spelling
lookout
show examples
for the experience that he holds. Even though
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
aged
people
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
a lot of it,
however
, after a certain period of time the cognitive abilities of human beings are supposed to tone down. For these reasons, most of the companies have set the limit on working
age
.
For instance
, a 65 years old employee having dementia will have more chances of
commiting
Correct your spelling
committing
errors even though he might be having a probability of
greater
Correct article usage
a greater
show examples
lifespan. So, according to
me
Correct pronoun usage
my
show examples
, the restricted working
age
is meant to be a correct decision.
Furthermore
, another considerable factor is that they have lived all of their lives by working for themselves, their families and for the economy.
Moreover
, many times the elderly
people
lives
Change the verb form
live
show examples
all by themselves, so in that case, the added pressure to earn their bread and butter may lead to different mental and emotional ailments like depression. To avoid
such
circumstances, the younger generation
as well as the government
Add the comma(s)
, as well as the government,
show examples
should give them a break from hectic working schedules and take care of these
people
in their
Correct your spelling
old age
show examples
old-
Correct your spelling
old age
show examples
age
. In conclusion, apart from the fact that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humans are now having
longer
Add an article
a longer
show examples
lifespan, the retirement
age
should be restricted because of the medical conditions that
people
may suffer from. After a particular
age
,
people
who forcefully work may suffer from trauma and depression. It becomes our responsibility to nurture and protect the older generation.
Submitted by gargmitesh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: