In many countries, an increase in crime has been blamed on violent images on TV and computer and video games. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion

#countries #crime #images #tv #computer #video #games

It is believed that the growth of illegal activities in some nations

is resulted

Change to the active voice

results

has resulted

show examples

from violent

programs

from television or

games

. From my perspective, I partly

argree

Correct your spelling

agree

with

this

statement and I shall put forth some ideas to support my arguments in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, the surge of reality shows, films or computer

games

that contain brutal images has raised concerns for parents and authorities. In fact, frequent exposure to violent and bloody images from video

games

may presumably bring detrimental effects on

cognitive

Correct article usage

the cognitive

show examples

development of teenagers and youngsters. These

programs

may

initially

stimulate their curiosity and make them become addicted to killing activities and tend to imitate these actions in their real life.

For instance

, it is reported that a large proportion of adolescent

law breakers

Correct your spelling

lawbreakers

show examples

are loyal fans of violent

games

Consequently

over exposure

Correct your spelling

overexposure

show examples

to violent

programs

may make children become more careless and violent in the future.

On the other hand

, there are

also

other reasons that account for the rise of

criminal

Replace the word

crime

show examples

in one country. Poverty is a crucial factor that affects the

crime

level of one particular area. Within poor areas that receive less concern from local authorities where people have low education level and out-of-date facilities, the

crime

rate is obviously higher compared to wealthier areas. Other issues

such

as family concern or law enforcement on

crime

are

also

influential factors on the increase of

crime

. In conclusion, while I agree that frequent interactions with violence from TV

programs

games

may contribute to the increase of adolescent criminal rate, I

also

believe that other factors

such

as poverty, family concern and law

also

play crucial factors.

Submitted by npanhtuan09 on Wed May 12 2021

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

277 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries, an increase in crime has been blamed on violent images on TV and computer and video games. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Men and women are different in terms of their characteristics and abilities. For this reason, some jobs are better done by men and others by women. Do you agree or disagree?

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