Some people think that sports create a peace in the world. Do you agree or disagree with this?

#people #sports #peace #world

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Sports

Use synonyms

is a game

which

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

needs cooperation and trust with each other. Many

people

Use synonyms

believe that it brings harmony

Change preposition

show examples

the world. In

this

Linking Words

essay,

Change the capitalization

show examples

will elaborate

the

Change preposition

on the

show examples

agreement in

this

Linking Words

statement.

Firstly

Linking Words

human

Add an article

the human

a human

show examples

being is always fond of

sports

Use synonyms

namely basketball, boxing and many more but not always ended up in peace.

For example

Linking Words

, many

people

Use synonyms

love to watch basketball

especially

Add the comma(s)

,especially

show examples

during

championship

Add an article

the championship

show examples

. But because of the pressure of the game, players tend to hurt opponents which often lead to commotions between the teams.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the other members have to defend each other which created an unstoppable fight despite

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

many referees and security guards.

Also

Linking Words

, the operators have to stop the game in order to dismiss the fight.

Secondly

Linking Words

, despite

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

the said circumstances,

sports

Use synonyms

still fun to watch in

majority

Add an article

the majority

a majority

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, in the Philippines, boxing is the number one sport that creating peace in the country. The famous boxer who

also

Linking Words

a government official, everyone is steadily watching

everytime

Replace the word

every time

show examples

he has a boxing fight.

Moreover

Linking Words

, other local officials make tents and large screen for the community to be able to watch it together.

Also

Linking Words

, the road traffic and crime rates on that day

is lessen

Change the verb form

is lessened

is lessening

show examples

due to

people

Use synonyms

Change the verb form

are

show examples

supporting the famous boxer. If all countries will do

this

Linking Words

for instance

Linking Words

, it will create unity in the world. In conclusion, most

people

Use synonyms

love

sports

Use synonyms

even though it is not always ended up in harmony but some human still

choose

Change the verb form

chooses

show examples

to enjoy and supporting it to make a peaceful world.

Submitted by Nadz_nadz on Wed May 12 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

fostering
unity
cross-cultural understanding
historical moments
political and cultural divides
nationalism
division
sports diplomacy
peacekeeping
diplomatic efforts
grassroots
community cohesion
prevent conflict

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Some people think that sports create a peace in the world. Do you agree or disagree with this?

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In a number o f countries, some people thin k it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Many children are encouraged by their parents to get a part time job in their free time. What are the advantaged and disadvantages of children doing so

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.