Some people believe that what children watch in television influence on children's behaviour. Others say that amount of time on television influence their behaviour. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In recent years,

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has been very controversial among many

people

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. Some

people

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argue about the negative impact of

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programmes on

children

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’s attitudes.

However

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, others allege that the

time

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spent on

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determines the positivity or negativity of the matter. In

this

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essay, I will discuss both views and give my opinion.

Initially

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, with the advancement of

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technology,

children

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are driven by the visual entertainment that

television

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provides.

This

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is why some

people

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claim that spending tremendous amounts of

time

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on screens may result in physical and mental disorders.

Therefore

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, a child devoting all of his

time

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to watching

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will obliterate the skills of interaction with other

children

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and make friendships, leading to depression, social anxiety, and being introverted.

Furthermore

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, sitting all day on

screen

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a screen

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will cause a child physical issues.

For example

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, scientific research has proved that obesity in

children

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is the consequence of sitting for a long

time

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in front of a

television

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However

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, the other group believes that duration is the main factor in the topic discussed.

Besides

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, they affirm that

television

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enhances

children

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's personalities, and they can learn a lot from these programs.

Youngesters

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Youngsters

are influenced by superhero shows and anime series that promote many moral principles,

such

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as honesty, loyalty, and determination.

Therefore

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, young

people

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tend to imitate these characteristics.

Additionally

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, there are educational channels that consider wildlife and space.

For instance

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, channels like National Geographic and TED-Ed.

To conclude

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, from the arguments and examples given, I firmly believe that both views play a crucial role in

children

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's lives. Whether the side effects of excessive sitting and lack of appropriation of

time

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or the

television

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as a source of learning.

Thereby

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Therefore

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, I strongly support the view that youngsters should be motivated to watch shows with moral and educational content

while

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maintaining screen

time

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limits. With

this

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balanced guide, we can create a beneficial environment for the young generation.

Ayreen🍒 Mon Jul 22 2024

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Introduction

The introduction provides clear context and sets up both sides of the argument well. However, consider using synonyms to avoid repetitive language.

Supporting Arguments

Discussing the negative impacts of excessive TV time is well-developed, but including more specific examples and varied sentence structures would strengthen this section.

Supporting Arguments

When discussing the positive influences of TV programs, be sure to directly connect these points to their impact on children’s behavior for stronger coherence.

Conclusion

The essay conclusion effectively synthesizes the presented views and offers a solid opinion, but could benefit from being slightly more concise.

Task Achievement

Your essay shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic and maintains a clear focus throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion

Logical structure and paragraphing are used effectively to organize ideas and arguments.

Introduction/Conclusion

The introduction and conclusion are both present and serve their purposes well in framing and summarizing the argument.

Supporting Arguments

Your use of specific examples, such as scientific research linking TV to obesity, adds credibility and concreteness to your points.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

316 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Impressionable
Influence
Behaviour
Values
Themes
Characters
Understanding of society
Decision-making processes
Exposure
Aggression
Fear
Educational programs
Social skills
Excessive
Diminished
Academic performance
Social interactions
Empathy
Communication skills
Balance
Monitor
Parental involvement
Guidelines
Quality content
Screen time
Mimic
Moral lessons
Perspectives
Role models
Value system
Behaviour patterns

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