Some people believe that what children watch in television influence on children's behaviour. Others say that amount of time on television influence their behaviour. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In recent years,
TV
has been very controversial among many people
. Some people
argue about the negative impact of TV
programmes on children
’s attitudes. However
, others allege that the time
spent on TV
determines the positivity or negativity of the matter. In this
essay, I will discuss both views and give my opinion.
Initially
, with the advancement of TV
technology, children
are driven by the visual entertainment that television
provides. This
is why some people
claim that spending tremendous amounts of time
on screens may result in physical and mental disorders. Therefore
, a child devoting all of his time
to watching TV
will obliterate the skills of interaction with other children
and make friendships, leading to depression, social anxiety, and being introverted. Furthermore
, sitting all day on screen
will cause a child physical issues. Correct article usage
a screen
For example
, scientific research has proved that obesity in children
is the consequence of sitting for a long time
in front of a television
.
However
, the other group believes that duration is the main factor in the topic discussed. Besides
, they affirm that television
enhances children
's personalities, and they can learn a lot from these programs. Youngesters
are influenced by superhero shows and anime series that promote many moral principles, Correct your spelling
Youngsters
such
as honesty, loyalty, and determination. Therefore
, young people
tend to imitate these characteristics. Additionally
, there are educational channels that consider wildlife and space. For instance
, channels like National Geographic and TED-Ed.
To conclude
, from the arguments and examples given, I firmly believe that both views play a crucial role in children
's lives. Whether the side effects of excessive sitting and lack of appropriation of time
or the television
as a source of learning. Thereby
, I strongly support the view that youngsters should be motivated to watch shows with moral and educational content Rephrase
Therefore
while
maintaining screen time
limits. With this
balanced guide, we can create a beneficial environment for the young generation.Submitted by Ayreen🍒
on
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Introduction
The introduction provides clear context and sets up both sides of the argument well. However, consider using synonyms to avoid repetitive language.
Supporting Arguments
Discussing the negative impacts of excessive TV time is well-developed, but including more specific examples and varied sentence structures would strengthen this section.
Supporting Arguments
When discussing the positive influences of TV programs, be sure to directly connect these points to their impact on children’s behavior for stronger coherence.
Conclusion
The essay conclusion effectively synthesizes the presented views and offers a solid opinion, but could benefit from being slightly more concise.
Task Achievement
Your essay shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic and maintains a clear focus throughout.
Coherence and Cohesion
Logical structure and paragraphing are used effectively to organize ideas and arguments.
Introduction/Conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and serve their purposes well in framing and summarizing the argument.
Supporting Arguments
Your use of specific examples, such as scientific research linking TV to obesity, adds credibility and concreteness to your points.
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