Many children today are overweight and unhealthy. This is a serious problem. Give the reasons for this and give some solutions to fix this problem.

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The world has changed a great deal from the past. The overweight and unhealthy lifestyle impacts many
children
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.
This
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is a serious problem for many
children
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.
This
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essay will explain the reasons and give solutions. There are many reasons why
children
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are becoming overweight nowadays.
However
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, the first reason is
technology
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that technology
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and video games are a
mainly
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major
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reason
way
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apply
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for
sedentary
Correct article usage
a sedentary
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lifestyle.
As well as
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, they spend more time and hours on smartphones, computers and PlayStations. Second reason, fast
food
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and unhealthy meals without
parent’s
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parents’
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control. They choose random
food
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like a high fat
food
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, sugar drinks and sweets.
Finally
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, nowadays they don’t spend more time doing sports, exercise and hobbies. There are many solutions to solving these problems and changing the lifestyle for
children
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and transition they life and health.
Also
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, the
main and
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most
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important
is
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thing is
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parents
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parents'
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control. They can guide the
children
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to
choice
Replace the word
choose
a perfect
food
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.
Also
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, they can
passion a
Verb problem
inspire
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children
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to exercise and play sports in school and in their free time. In conclusion, it is clear to see that the overweight and unhealthy have many problems for
Use synonyms
children life
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children's lives
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.
However
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, it must be known that it
also
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has many serious solutions for
this
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problem.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You give reasons and fixes, but the ideas are short.
task response
Add one or two clear examples, like home food, school sport, or time limits for games.
coherence and cohesion
Make each main idea easy to follow. Use one paragraph for reasons and one for solutions.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words well, like First, Second, Also, Because, So, and In conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence connects clearly to the one before it.
task response
You answered the full question with reasons and solutions.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction and a conclusion.
task response
Your main ideas are about screen time, bad food, and less sport, which fit the topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • behave
  • better
  • punished
  • rewarded
  • believe
  • effective
  • arguing
  • immediately
  • unwanted
  • fear
  • pain
  • good
  • actions
  • praise
  • treated
  • learn
  • positive
  • feedback
  • happy
  • feel
  • repeat
  • future
  • create
  • problems
  • rather
  • learn
  • wrong
  • caught
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