IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

#students #university #study #country #opportunity #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days, many
students
Use synonyms
 can have more chances to
study
Use synonyms
 in different countries compare to the past when
students
Use synonyms
 only could get their degrees in their own country's university. Since the movements of the society in the world, studying abroad has become
commonly
Replace the word
common
show examples
 today and there are several advantages and disadvantages of
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon as follow. There are a couple of reasons why studying abroad can give a positive
Correct your spelling
effect
show examples
affect
Correct your spelling
effect
show examples
 on
students
Use synonyms
.
First
Linking Words
 of
all
Add a comma
,all
show examples
 they can improve their foreign language skills or learn a new language from where they
study
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, the number of Korean
students
Use synonyms
go
Change the verb form
goes
show examples
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
abroad to
study
Use synonyms
 English, since the world has become globally and the English
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 essential ability among young people.
Secondly
Linking Words
, they can experience the various type of cultures with foreign
students
Use synonyms
 who have different cultural backgrounds. It leads to young
students
Use synonyms
 who
study
Use synonyms
 abroad are more likely to have
widen
Change the verb form
widened
show examples
 views
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their life.
However
Linking Words
, aside from the positive aspects, there are some disadvantages of studying abroad. Actually, it takes a lot of money
besides
Linking Words
, can affect their family economy.
Students
Use synonyms
 need to pay their tuition fee, get a house to stay in abroad safely and there are various consumptions exist to survive
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
abroad.
In addition
Linking Words
, some
students
Use synonyms
 handle very well about their new life,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, some others struggle with adapting
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 new environments. In conclusion, for these reasons mentioned above, these days young
students
Use synonyms
 can get a lot of opportunities to go abroad to develop their education level.
However
Linking Words
, it is clear that some disadvantages exist that need to be considered.
Submitted by shellingphod on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: