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Band 6.5

Longer lifespans and the improvement in the health care suggest that older people can continue to live full and active lives.

#lifespans #improvement #health #care #people #lives
It is obvious that
people
 desire to spend their limited time with either family or someone whom they love so that medical developments are improved by many experts in order to keep
people
 alive longer with healthy.
This
 essay will explore why
this
 improvement is good and beneficial to the majority. In the present day, health improvement increases the number of the population in each country especially elders which have several benefits in many terms.
Firstly
, older
people
 are a group of family’s members who can maintain the balance of the family by nurturing the old tradition.
Moreover
, they can give good advice to their either children or grandchildren that might avoid
people
 from making a wrong decision.
Furthermore
, grandparents are considered to be the best nanny for their grandchildren when their parents are busy which can reduce the family’s expenses in hiring some special nannies. Even though they stop working, they tend to provide knowledge about historical events, places and materials to the population through social media which might be useful information for
further
 education of children.
In addition
,
this
 kind of data may let archaeologists work easier and broaden some ways to upgrade ancient tourist attractions
thus
 the economy will grow more as same as exchanging national culture and ideals. In conclusion,
although
 the old person cannot take a job. They are worth
to live
Change the verb form
living
show examples
 by taking advantages back to their community. They are the centre of their family’s members and guiding the way of life from their own experiences. Ultimately, their knowledge might necessary for the country development.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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