Many young people are leaving their homes in rural areas to study or work in the cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?

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In the contemporary world, it can be seen that a massive chunk of youth is migrating to metropolis. It is opined that the majority of the younger generation is moving out of their houses in sub-urban areas to find better employment and educational facilities. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will explain the reason behind

this

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exodus and critically examine how the

positives

Change the noun form

positive

show examples

aspects of

this

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migration of adolescents to modern cities overlook the negative points. There are two main fundamental aspects of

this

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relocation,

such

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lack

Correct article usage

the lack

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of prestigious universities and fewer jobs in the far-flung villages.

Consequently

Linking Words

, young ones have to shift to urban places to find high-profile work and to get numerous educative options, which is commonly expected by multinational companies to recruit employees.

For example

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, a recent study showed that young people who moved out of their houses

are

Wrong verb form

were

show examples

more likely to get high-end jobs five times more than those who stayed in the countryside.

Although

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there are some demerits of

movement

Correct article usage

the movement

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of young rural dwellers to towns,

on the other hand

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, there are plenty of merits of

this

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trend.

Firstly

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, they will

be having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

high quality

Add a hyphen

high-quality

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life in the city in comparison to rural

habitat

Fix the agreement mistake

habitats

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. As giant organizations are more likely to be situated in

the

Correct article usage

apply

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developed areas,

therefore

Linking Words

, adolescents will have far more work opportunities in these metro cities.

Hence

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, they are more likely to get handsome money and widespread occupational exposure as well.

In addition

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, all the renowned colleges and universities are established in big towns, So they can enrol themselves in varied skilled learning courses and achieve success and personal growth as well.

This

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will

also

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give their families in villages a sense of appreciation. In conclusion, I reaffirm my position by stating that

positive

Correct article usage

the positive

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aspects of

this

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movement overlook its negative points. Even though life in the countryside is peaceful

yet

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apply

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it lacks so many opportunities which are the basic necessities in

this

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competitive world.

navjot.tiwana6Thu May 13 2021

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task achievement

Consider adding more specific examples or statistics to support your points about job opportunities and educational facilities. This will enhance clarity and comprehensiveness.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure your transitions between paragraphs are smoothly integrated to improve the overall flow of your essay. For instance, you could use linking phrases to better connect ideas.

coherence and cohesion

In your conclusion, you might want to rephrase your position more clearly with a summary of the main points discussed to strongly reinforce your argument.

task achievement

The essay effectively presents a clear position on the topic and explores both sides of the argument.

coherence and cohesion

The introduction provides a good overview of the essay's direction and engages the reader's interest.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

323 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Migration
Urbanization
Educational institutions
Job prospects
Wages
Economic growth
Cultural exchange
Overpopulation
Cost of living
Rural depopulation
Social isolation
Traditional values
Personal growth
Recreational activities

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Many young people are leaving their homes in rural areas to study or work in the cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: People should sometimes do things that they donot enjoy doing. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer

Some people think that the government should provide unemployed people with a free mobile phone and free access to the internet to help them find jobs.

Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful, but they are also likely to suffer from negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that children should not watch television as it has negative effects while some people believe that they should watch television as it helps them in their future. Discuss both views and give your opinion.