Many people believe that social media sites such as Facebook have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?

The world has become
degitalized
Correct your spelling
digitalized
digitalised
due to the advanced development of social media platforms
such
as
Facebook
or Instagram.
People
believe that these inventions have brought detrimental effects on human. In my opinion, I partly agree with
this
statement and I shall put forth my
arguements
Correct your spelling
arguments
to illustrate my points in the following paragraph. Those against social networking websites often argue that using
facebook
Change the capitalization
Facebook
show examples
or other related applications is a waste of time and youngsters have become dependent on these platforms. With the popularity of smartphones and
universial
Correct your spelling
universal
internet connections, accessing
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online data has become easier and
people
can easily connect with their friends through social apps.
As a result
, they have spent a huge
Correct your spelling
amount
show examples
a mount
Correct your spelling
amount
show examples
of time
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
checking their personal data and
also
others' status.
Moreover
, with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advanced functions
such
as online messenger or making local friends, young
people
can communicate and widen new contacts efficiently. Due to its convenience, these account owners tend to prefer online communication to
real life
Add a hyphen
real-life
show examples
conversations, and they love to live in their virtual world.
On the other hand
, networking sites have been exploited rapidly by many companies as a mean of advertising new products. Popular applications
such
as
Facebook
, Instagram or Youtube often have
millions
Add the preposition
ofmillions
show examples
members and business owners can pay these media companies to promote their services to
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
effectively. Internet users can
also
utilize functions including messenger video on
facebook
Change the capitalization
Facebook
show examples
or Zalo call to connect with their friends without paying any fees.
Last
but not least, building a professional account on social networking applications like LinkedIn or Youtube is a great way to promote personal brands and enhance employment opportunities for young graduates. In conclusion, while some
people
think that online social platforms are toxic, I believe that they can be valuable resources for human development.
Submitted by npanhtuan09 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: