IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some argue that schools should prioritize life skills such as working in teams and solving problems instead of traditional academics. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#argue #schools #prioritize #life #skills #teams #academics
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Schools nowadays, adapt curricula to suit the modern era but there didn't concerned with basic
life
Use synonyms
skills
Use synonyms
 like teamwork and solving problems which are essential for human
life
Use synonyms
 at every age.
Thus
Linking Words
, I agree with the argument that the current
education
Use synonyms
 focuses on
academics
Use synonyms
 but doesn't treat
students
Use synonyms
 for the real world.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, a plethora of schools emphasize
academics
Use synonyms
 rather than
life
Use synonyms
 and social
skills
Use synonyms
,
hence
Linking Words
 it makes
students
Use synonyms
 lack basic competence.
In particular
Linking Words
, teamwork
skills
Use synonyms
 have an impact on society today because every company need employees with expert teamwork to do work more easily.
In addition
Linking Words
, solving problem ability is
also
Linking Words
 significant in cooperation,because one should be more critical when facing problems and it allows one to use a variety of ideas to solve
moreover
Linking Words
 it might be a creative idea
however
Linking Words
, not every person has these
skills
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
,
education
Use synonyms
 will adapt to the modern age some traditional
academics
Use synonyms
 are greater than new
academics
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, the present academic requires
students
Use synonyms
 to attempt to research and improve in many ways as history class will have some field trips to make
students
Use synonyms
 see the real place in history.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
 period the technology ages which is impact
education
Use synonyms
likewise
Linking Words
, when teachers teach about history
students
Use synonyms
 will see the real place only in images on the media platforms.
Therefore
Linking Words
, traditional
academics
Use synonyms
 can prepare
students
Use synonyms
 for the real world and touch the real rather than only the picture.
To sum up
Linking Words
, a Balanced
education
Use synonyms
 that includes both traditional
academics
Use synonyms
 and
life
Use synonyms
skills
Use synonyms
 allows
students
Use synonyms
 to develop a comprehensive skill set and will be a great choice for developing
education
Use synonyms
 rather than only keeping modern
academics
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by np.napatping on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Strengthen logical connections between paragraphs to improve coherence.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or evidence to support the main points.
task achievement
Work on more precise language to express ideas more clearly.
task achievement
You present a clear position towards the given argument, showing agreement.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, helping it feel complete.
task achievement
The essay raises relevant points about the importance of life skills such as teamwork and problem-solving.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Prioritize
  • Life skills
  • Traditional academics
  • Teamwork
  • Problem-solving
  • Holistic education
  • Real-world challenges
  • Soft skills
  • Intellectual growth
  • Balanced education
  • Comprehensive skill set
  • Core subjects
  • Vocational training
What to do next:
Look at other essays: