IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

#money #time
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Nowadays, in society money one of the vital thing that
people
Use synonyms
 can get goods or products that they need. At
this
Linking Words
time
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 some citizens
thinks
Change the verb form
think
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 that working more
time
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 and having less leisure
time
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 is better than that or remaining, working more and getting less money. From my point of view, in the
work
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 should be the
time
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 management for all
people
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, they need to have their own benchmarks in
time
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 not less
not
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,not
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 more.
To begin
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 with, in some areas of the world
people
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work
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 in two places or more than, they
work
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 for
time
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 and gets their currency. According to statistics, in America individuals works in more places since their needs are too expensive, because of that their employees
work
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 more than
other
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in other
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 countries. It is one of the good
thing
Change to a plural noun
things
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, working has
great
Add an article
a great
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 impact on
people
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,
this
Linking Words
 gives them chance to live in
this
Linking Words
 world,
also
Linking Words
 they can buy things that they need. Other
people
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 think that
,
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apply
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 spending long hours
on
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at
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work
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 and having no free
time
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 to actually enjoy is not the right approach to
life
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. They consider
time
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 to be a great equalizer and
time
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 spend at
work
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 cannot be purchased with money as it leads to stress and other
health related
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health-related
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 problems.
Furthermore
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, living a healthier
life
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 and spending quality
time
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 with loved ones is more essential for
people
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 and many of them regret it later on in their
life
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. I believe that
,
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apply
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government
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the government
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 should give everyone the same amount of
time
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, and agree on wages with workers. They should evaluate the
work
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 at the same level as it is important, knowledgeable, and includes many human qualities.
Moreover
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, I think that if a person has a hard job, it is dangerous it
ithe
Correct your spelling
the
 salary should be higher. To conclude,
people
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 should maintain a balanced
life
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 by giving equal
time
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 to
work
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 and personal
time
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. They will lead a more fulfilling lifestyle if they prioritize both factors equally.
Submitted by Dariga on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • facilitating
  • lifestyle
  • professional development
  • increased stress
  • work-life balance
  • hobbies
  • quality time
  • physical and mental health
  • financial constraints
  • luxury items
  • overall well-being
  • personal growth
  • middle ground
  • sacrificing
What to do next:
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