Many people believe that a person’s culture is defined by their country of origin, while others believe that it has only minor influence. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Culture
has become an identity for some people or some countries. It is argued that people think that a home
country
has
big
Add an article
a big

The noun phrase big influence seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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influence
in shaping
individual’s
Correct article usage
an individual’s

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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culture
, whilst others believe that
country
of
origin
has
small
Correct article usage
a small

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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influence
. In my opinion, an
origin
place can define
person’s
Correct article usage
a person’s

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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culture
, but we have another influencer that
contribute
Change the verb form
contributes

The plural verb contribute does not appear to agree with the singular subject another influencer. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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to their
culture
. On the one hand, family is a major factor
who
Correct pronoun usage
that

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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can
influence
people’s
culture
, even though they live in a certain place for a long time. Parents, especially, are the influencers and teachers whom their children learn from.
For example
, an Asian family who live in western countries for generations. Even though they have been living in a
country
with different
cultures
since they were born, they still teach their children
with
Change preposition
about

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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their
origin
’s
cultures
,
such
as give a respectful attitude to the elders or celebrate their traditions and
cultures
once a year.
On the other hand
,
people’s
action can be influenced by the environment where they live in and it can be changed over time. They can be easily adjusted
with
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the new norms and
cultures
and the changes will slowly
influence
their actions. It usually happens with people who are constantly moving to a new environment,
such
move to a new city or a new
country
.
Thus
, in
this
case, the
origin
place gives a small proportion in shaping
people’s
action
instead
their
cultures
are changing
depend
Change the form of the verb
depending

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb depend. Consider changing it.

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on their surroundings. In conclusion,
origin
country
has a big
influence
on
people’s
culture
though they can adapt
with
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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a new environment and adjust
with
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the new customs.
Submitted by hanizachri on

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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