Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of most people's lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #years #times #lives #adult #life #happiness #spite #responsibilities

Some people believe that teenagers are happier in their

lives

than

adults

However

, I

don’t

agree with

this

view. On the one hand, some people think that

teens

have happier

lives

than

adults

because they do not suffer from economic pressure,

such

as bills and meals.

For instance

, since

teens

seldom rent a house and prefer to live with their families, they

don’t

worry about family finances.

Additionally

teens

’

lives

are simpler compared to

adults

; they only need to go to school five days a week, and after school, they can decide to come back home or hang out with

friends

Moreover

teens

can easily make new

friends

to entertain themselves,

whereas

it’s harder to make

friends

as an adult.

For example

adults

’

lives

are more complicated, combining work, family, and economic responsibilities, making it difficult to hang out with or make new

friends

On the other hand

, I believe that

adults

have happier

lives

compared to

teens

Adults

only need to worry about work,

while

teens

are more focused on their relationships with

friends

and have much stress about their tests.

Adults

don’t

care about exam pressure since they

don’t

have to attend tests every few years.

Additionally

adults

earn

money

and can manage and use their

money

freely, only needing to take care of daily expenses.

However

teens

still listen to their parents’ limits and cannot spend

money

as freely as

adults

. In conclusion,

although

teens

can easily make

friends

and hang out with them, I believe

adults

have more enjoyable

lives

than

teens

Adults

can spend their

money

freely and

don’t

suffer from exam pressure.

Submitted by zea14210209 on Fri Jul 12 2024

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task achievement

Your essay provides a strong response to the task and clearly addresses both viewpoints. To improve further, ensure that each paragraph systematically develops a single idea and supports it with more varied examples.

coherence cohesion

The essay is well-organized, with a clear introduction and conclusion. To enhance coherence and cohesion, use more variety in transition words and phrases to link ideas smoothly.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and a strong conclusion that summarizes the main points, making it easy for the reader to understand your position.

task achievement

You successfully discuss both viewpoints and provide relevant arguments and examples to support your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

adolescence
fulfillment
responsibilities
exploration
long-term goals
sense of stability
carefree
contentment
well-being
life stage
unique opportunities
deep satisfaction

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