Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of most people's lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Some people believe that teenagers are happier in their
lives
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than
adults
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.
However
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, I
don’t
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agree with
this
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view. On the one hand, some people think that
teens
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have happier
lives
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than
adults
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because they do not suffer from economic pressure,
such
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as bills and meals.
For instance
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, since
teens
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seldom rent a house and prefer to live with their families, they
don’t
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worry about family finances.
Additionally
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,
teens
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lives
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are simpler compared to
adults
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; they only need to go to school five days a week, and after school, they can decide to come back home or hang out with
friends
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.
Moreover
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,
teens
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can easily make new
friends
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to entertain themselves,
whereas
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it’s harder to make
friends
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as an adult.
For example
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,
adults
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lives
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are more complicated, combining work, family, and economic responsibilities, making it difficult to hang out with or make new
friends
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.
On the other hand
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, I believe that
adults
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have happier
lives
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compared to
teens
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.
Adults
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only need to worry about work,
while
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teens
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are more focused on their relationships with
friends
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and have much stress about their tests.
Adults
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don’t
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care about exam pressure since they
don’t
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have to attend tests every few years.
Additionally
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,
adults
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earn
money
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and can manage and use their
money
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freely, only needing to take care of daily expenses.
However
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,
teens
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still listen to their parents’ limits and cannot spend
money
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as freely as
adults
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. In conclusion,
although
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teens
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can easily make
friends
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and hang out with them, I believe
adults
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have more enjoyable
lives
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than
teens
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.
Adults
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can spend their
money
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freely and
don’t
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suffer from exam pressure.
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task achievement
Your essay provides a strong response to the task and clearly addresses both viewpoints. To improve further, ensure that each paragraph systematically develops a single idea and supports it with more varied examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized, with a clear introduction and conclusion. To enhance coherence and cohesion, use more variety in transition words and phrases to link ideas smoothly.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and a strong conclusion that summarizes the main points, making it easy for the reader to understand your position.
task achievement
You successfully discuss both viewpoints and provide relevant arguments and examples to support your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adolescence
  • fulfillment
  • responsibilities
  • exploration
  • long-term goals
  • sense of stability
  • carefree
  • contentment
  • well-being
  • life stage
  • unique opportunities
  • deep satisfaction
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