Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of most people's lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that teenagers are happier in their
lives
than
adults
.
However
, I
don’t
agree with
this
view. On the one hand, some people think that
teens
have happier
lives
than
adults
because they do not suffer from economic pressure,
such
as bills and meals.
For instance
, since
teens
seldom rent a house and prefer to live with their families, they
don’t
worry about family finances.
Additionally
,
teens
lives
are simpler compared to
adults
; they only need to go to school five days a week, and after school, they can decide to come back home or hang out with
friends
.
Moreover
,
teens
can easily make new
friends
to entertain themselves,
whereas
it’s harder to make
friends
as an adult.
For example
,
adults
lives
are more complicated, combining work, family, and economic responsibilities, making it difficult to hang out with or make new
friends
.
On the other hand
, I believe that
adults
have happier
lives
compared to
teens
.
Adults
only need to worry about work,
while
teens
are more focused on their relationships with
friends
and have much stress about their tests.
Adults
don’t
care about exam pressure since they
don’t
have to attend tests every few years.
Additionally
,
adults
earn
money
and can manage and use their
money
freely, only needing to take care of daily expenses.
However
,
teens
still listen to their parents’ limits and cannot spend
money
as freely as
adults
. In conclusion,
although
teens
can easily make
friends
and hang out with them, I believe
adults
have more enjoyable
lives
than
teens
.
Adults
can spend their
money
freely and
don’t
suffer from exam pressure.
Submitted by zea14210209 on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a strong response to the task and clearly addresses both viewpoints. To improve further, ensure that each paragraph systematically develops a single idea and supports it with more varied examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized, with a clear introduction and conclusion. To enhance coherence and cohesion, use more variety in transition words and phrases to link ideas smoothly.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and a strong conclusion that summarizes the main points, making it easy for the reader to understand your position.
task achievement
You successfully discuss both viewpoints and provide relevant arguments and examples to support your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adolescence
  • fulfillment
  • responsibilities
  • exploration
  • long-term goals
  • sense of stability
  • carefree
  • contentment
  • well-being
  • life stage
  • unique opportunities
  • deep satisfaction
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