Some people say that music is a good way of bringing peple of different cultures and ages together To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion ?

These days, many
people
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state that the best way to connect different individuals in terms of age and cultural background is
music
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. From my perspective, I completely agree with the statement above.
This
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essay will discuss the topic and give reasons as follows. First and foremost,
music
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brings
people
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together as it is a popular method of recreation after work or school . For many years,
music
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has served as a powerful influence factor , enabling the development of globalisation and
altering into
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shaping
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the world today.
This
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is obvious as in respite, typically in the afternoon or at weekends, kids and adults alike often hang out at karaoke with a view to meeting new friends and
share
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sharing
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their personal melody.
Also
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, during some formal occasions
such
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as Tết or Christmas, adults and teenagers would hang out to share their favourite
music
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with one another at concerts.
In addition
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, melody performances during holidays attract diverse audiences, which helps to unite different social classes. Many kinds of
music
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have attracted various citizens and foreigners.
For instance
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, ultimately promotes cultural significance.
Secondly
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,
music
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is a universal language of communicating and showing emotions,
as well as
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a way of exchanging cultures. In prehistoric times, our ancestors sang songs whenever families gathered around the fireplace. It was a moment for all members to share emotions and experiences with the younger generations.
Besides
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that, they
also
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paid tribute to many past soldiers through the form of
music
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.
Last
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but not least, there are collaborative
music
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projects which encourage cultural understanding. Vietnam is one of the primary examples with the popular song called "Bac Bling" . It is a project created through collaboration between national
music
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groups and local corporations that aims to serve and educate
people
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about the cultural heritage in Vietnam. In conclusion,
music
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fosters the unifying of many individuals as it encourages mutual respect for domestic traditions and attracts
people
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through annual concerts.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and connects well to the next one.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points.
task achievement
Make sure the conclusion clearly sums up your main points.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion on music bringing people together.
task achievement
You provide some good examples, such as karaoke gatherings and cultural projects.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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