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Band 7

Some say that because many people are living much longer the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#say #people #age #work
Many individuals believe that the life expectancy of many people is increasing so that a company should raise the
age
 of retirement of that employees . I do not agree with
this
 view because there are so many concerns attach to it . There are some reasons why it is not good to escalate the pullout years . The
first
 and foremost is that
this
 is the
age
 when they started to develop some chronic health issues
such
 as hypertension and diabetes Mellitus .
In other words
 , due to these conditions their status of health
also
 impaired ,
consequently
 , an organisation have to invest their income on their medical insurances . For an instance , a Tata group of industries Which is the successful business all over the world , they prefer to retire Male at the
age
 of 55 years and female at 52 years in order to save extra expense on their medical and
also
 they give fitness insurance to them after leaving the job .
Furthermore
 , their capacity of working reduced because of ageing, so they are not able to perform at the workplace for a longer duration ,
consequently
, it directly impacts firms' productivity and works efficiency.
In addition
 , if they take more physical and mental stress in their work , it will directly influence their fitness .
Therefore
 , a company should not have to increase the withdrawal
age
 . To conclude , I strongly disagree with increasing the
age
 of evacuation because of suffering many health problems from
this
age
 and it affects negatively on company's productivity.
Submitted by himanshumali90 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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