Childhood obesity has become a serious problem in recent years. What are the primary causes of this? What measures should be taken to reduce childhood obesity?

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Being overweight is one of the demerits of fast-paced industrial life. In recent years, due to lack of physical exercise and unhealthy diets among families, childhood

obesity

Use synonyms

has become a serious problem. We will discuss two solutions to overcome

this

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problem. There are a number of reasons for childhood

obesity

Use synonyms

for instance

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, lack of physical activities. Nowadays, due to rapidly growing industrial life, which has led to fewer green areas, children tend to stay at home and play video games. While

this

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is beneficial to parents because it keeps children safe at home, it has several drawbacks, including

obesity

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. Only sitting in one place for hours can lower metabolism and cause health issues.

Moreover

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, unhealthy diets with loads of carbohydrates and sugar make the situation worse. These diets are deficient in essential vitamins and minerals and can cause malnutrition and,

therefore

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, fatness. Society should take

this

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matter seriously and take the necessary precautions to mitigate

obesity

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Firstly

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, computer programs are highly entertaining due to the high-quality graphics work.

As a result

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, it is beneficial to build more theme parks and amusement parks with embedded workout patterns so that children can both have fun and exercise simultaneously. Schools should put an extra curriculum for sports and matches with trophies, which would motivate kids to try harder.

Secondly

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, convenience stores and fast-food chains can offer more nutritious food choices. If these establishments sell a variety of healthier options, it will be extremely useful for parents who are too preoccupied with their jobs to cook. In conclusion, by building more fun parks with workout patterns and providing more healthy food options in stores, society can overcome

this

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dilemma. I believe that

this

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problem should not be neglected.

Submitted by hongminh317 on Sat May 22 2021

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

284 words

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Childhood obesity has become a serious problem in recent years. What are the primary causes of this? What measures should be taken to reduce childhood obesity?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Technology is becoming progressively universal. In the fullness of time, classroom teachers will be totally substituted for technology. Do you agree or disagree?

Immigration has a major impact on society. What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead?

Some people would agree that a fixed punishment might make the justice system more efficient. I would like to explore the pros and cons of the fixed penalties and try to determine if it is a working solution.

Companies use major sporting events to promote their products. Some people think it has a negative effect on sport in general. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

You recently bought a product online, but when it arrived, it was not as described. Write a letter to the customer service team. In your lette