IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Government should spend money on railways than roads. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement.

#government #money #railways #roads
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Some
people
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 think that
government
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 should spend
money
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 on building
railways
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 rather than spend
money
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 on
roads
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.I completely disagree with the opinion that the
government
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 should spend
money
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 on
railways
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. On the one hand, I accept that the
government
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 should spend
money
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 to build
railways
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, there are several benefits of building
railways
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
people
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 can
travel
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 faster. For a long journey,
people
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 should
travel
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 by
train
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 because travelling by
train
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 is faster than by
car
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. If
people
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travel
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 by
train
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, the
train
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 will not stop going,
whereas
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 cars will stop at every traffic light and on the road there may be a traffic jam.
Secondly
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, the
train
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 travels directly rather than cars and you will be at your destination on time .
For example
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roads
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 for cars and
railways
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 in Uzbekistan. If someone wants to
travel
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 from Tashkent to Khiva by
car
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, it would take around 14 hours to reach the destination,
however
Linking Words
, if
people
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travel
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 by
train
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 it would take 6 hours, and
people
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 will save 8 hours if society
travel
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 by
train
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. Because of
this
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 point, I accept that the
government
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 should spend
money
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 on
railways
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.
On the other hand
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, many
roads
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 are not perfect.Many
roads
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 very horrible because of potholes on the road. Because of holes in the road, there are many
car
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 accidents,
for example
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,
last
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 year's statistics show that 40 per cent of
car
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 accidents were caused because of potholes.
Secondly
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, there are more
people
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 who prefer to
travel
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 by
car
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 rather than by
train
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, that’s why the
government
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 should spend more
money
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 on
roads
Use synonyms
 than on
railways
Use synonyms
.All year's statistics illustrate that
people
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travel
Use synonyms
 by
car
Use synonyms
 more than by
train
Use synonyms
, and I agree with the opinion that the
government
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 should spend
money
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 on
roads
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I believe that the
government
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 should spend
money
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 on
roads
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, and in my point of view I agree with the opinion that the
government
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 should use the
money
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 to improve
roads
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.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
Ensure that your examples directly support your main arguments. While the example regarding travel time between Tashkent and Khiva is relevant, more specific data or hypothetical situations could further strengthen your point.
task achievement
Work on maintaining a neutral tone throughout the essay even if your language leans towards one opinion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument and sum up your position effectively.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is sound, with clear organization and progression between ideas. Each point is linked effectively.
task achievement
You've presented a balanced view by acknowledging the benefits of both railways and roads, demonstrating a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • environmental footprint
  • efficiency
  • pollution
  • cost-effectiveness
  • economic development
  • accessibility
  • public transportation
  • congestion
  • air pollution
  • initial investment
  • maintenance
  • upgrades
  • rural
  • urban
  • last-mile connectivity
What to do next:
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