it is dificult for people in cities to get enough physical excercise. What are the causes and solutions?

#dificult #people #cities #excercise

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In modern society, people have the tendency to spend less

time

Use synonyms

with their family members. From my point of view,

this

Linking Words

development can be attributed to several reasons and

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

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negative effects on both the individual and their family. To start with, people’s declining amount of

time

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spent with their

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

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stems from the

generation

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gap and the boom of personal

entertainment

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choices. First of all, the

generation

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gap has been a longstanding problem.

Due to

Linking Words

a disparity in beliefs between ages, a lack of understanding is born, making one

generation

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in a family feel less sympathetic towards another

generation

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’s problems.

Thus

Linking Words

, cross-generational communication becomes less enjoyable for all parties.

Secondly

Linking Words

, more personal

entertainment

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choices are readily available now, reducing people’s need to partake in other activities.

While

Linking Words

in former times, people could only talk to one another or take part in outdoor activities, nowadays, people are engrossed in unlimited forms of

entertainment

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, and

neglecting

Replace the word

neglect

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to spend

time

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with their families. The tendency

Change preposition

show examples

sparing

Verb problem

spend

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less

time

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with their family brings both the individual and the family undesirable impacts.

Firstly

Linking Words

, individuals who are not close

with

Change preposition

show examples

their family tend to be more problematic. Children growing up without parental love are more susceptible to emotional problems

such

Linking Words

as being emotionally detached or having low self-esteem from feeling undesired. As a family is everyone’s basic need, what living apart does is

taking

Wrong verb form

take

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away one of life’s necessities.

Moreover

Linking Words

, with weak ties, families can be broken apart.

This

Linking Words

is because the basic function of a family is to support each other, without quality

time

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together,

this

Linking Words

goal cannot be achieved. In conclusion, the trend of spending less

time

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with family comes from the

generation

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gap and the increase of personal

entertainment

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forms.

Furthermore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

development has negative effects on both the individual’s well-being and their families.

Submitted by nguyenhoanghadl on Wed Mar 13 2024

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Task Achievement

To improve task response, ensure that your essay directly addresses the question prompt. It appears that your essay tackled a slightly different topic - the decline in family time rather than the causes and solutions for the difficulty in obtaining physical exercise in cities.

Task Achievement

Provide clearer and more specific examples to support your points. This can be achieved by illustrating your points with real-world situations or data where possible.

Coherence and Cohesion

Maintain a logical structure through clear paragraphing, but try to explicitly link your paragraphs using cohesive devices such as transition words (e.g., furthermore, however, on the other hand).

Coherence and Cohesion

While your introduction and conclusion are present, reinforcing them with a more direct restatement of the problem and summarizing your proposed solutions might strengthen your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

303 words

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it is dificult for people in cities to get enough physical excercise. What are the causes and solutions?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Advances in health and biology and other areas of society in the last 100 years have transformed the way we live as well as postponing the day we die. There is no better time to be alive than now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in What are the reason for this? How can people research this?

Write about the following topic. Some people think living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe arts such as painting and music cannot directly improve the quality of people's lives so that government money should be spent on other things. To what extent do you agree or disagree?