Some people think that to produce a happier society is to ensure that there is only a small difference on the earnings of the richest and the poorest members. To what extent to do you agree or disagree?

In recent times, the need to create a happier
society
is an issue all over the world. Nowadays, it is believed by many that
people
with similar income would lead to a better life. It is my opinion, different social
classes
with similar wages could help them to live a happy lifestyle,
such
as they could afford to have a hobby, they would not
stress
about paying bills on time, and
lower
Correct article usage
the lower
show examples
class could not experience social
exclusion
.
Firstly
, if social
classes
could earn
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
same amount of money,
lower
Correct article usage
the lower
show examples
classes
would have a chance to live a similar lifestyle.
For example
,
people
could afford to practice their hobby, resulting in it could turn into a more relaxed and wealthier community.
Secondly
,
people
would not
stress
out how to pay their expenses due to equal earnings.
For instance
, everyone has to pay their bill each month, which could cause anxiety and
as a
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
equal income could solve
this
problem and
people
would not have to
stress
anymore.
Lastly
, equalised earnings would end social
exclusion
, which would help
society
to live a happy life,
such
as everyone could afford to buy a house, car, and
a
Change the article
the
show examples
latest fashion clothes, which would end
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
social
exclusion
and lead to a happier
society
. In conclusion,
people
with similar income would allow them to do their hobbies, reduce
stress
, and end social
exclusion
which
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
a happier
society
.
Therefore
, it is my opinion that social
classes
with
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
earning would help
people
to be happier.
Submitted by davidwillphone on

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    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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