One of the Consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

It is a matter which has gained traction that whether the better-quality health
care
facilities have benefitted people with longer
life
span. I have compelling evidence to dwell on the notion that demerits supersede the merits.
This
essay compares both the pros and cons and intends to delve into how
such
Correct your spelling
much
show examples
progress have negatively impacted society.
To begin
,
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the fact that intrigues me is that how long-lived folks are contributing to practising moral values in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society? Elderly people are helping the newer generation to become
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ideal citizen of the country. They guide us during our tough times with their enriched valuable suggestions. For examples, I belong to a joint family and my grandparents used to teach me
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
life lessons
a life lesson
show examples
life
lessons which ultimately helped me to be a good human. Having said that, the question that worries me is how
such
an advanced medical
care
facility has helped people living longer
life
resulting in an explosion of the human
population
, especially elder ones? Irrefutably, I believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the senior
population
is an unproductive workforce due to their age-related problems.
Therefore
, the government has to spend on their livelihood and medical
care
.
As a result
, the administration fails to provide basic facilities to the younger generation.
For instance
, China, being reported as the oldest country in terms of the average age of the
population
, is struggling to provide basic medical
care
. In conclusion, even though the use of enhanced health
care
facilities has resulted in higher
life
expectancy resulting in increased geriatric
population
which can morally support us,
however
, I am strongly convinced that stretch on natural resources and rapid growth in senior
population
has negatively impacted the society.
Submitted by ankush.pharmaworld on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • life expectancy
  • elderly population
  • health care systems
  • pension funds
  • extended family relationships
  • quality of life
  • aging population
  • economic growth
  • volunteer work
  • expertise
  • financial planning
  • retirement
  • age-related diseases
  • medical research
  • healthier lifestyles
What to do next:
Look at other essays: