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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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While
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 some people argue that attending
school
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 is more beneficial for
children
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, others believe that studying at
home
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 is a better option.
This
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 essay will discuss both views before explaining why I believe attending
school
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 is the most effective way to prepare young people for the future. On the one hand, studying at
home
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 offers greater flexibility and convenience, as parents and
children
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 can organise their own schedules
according to
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 their needs. One of the most compelling reasons why
home
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 education can be highly effective is that
children
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 are more likely to comply with their parents' instructions than those given by teachers.
As a result
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, they are encouraged to study diligently and devote themselves to learning.
Furthermore
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, spending more time together helps strengthen family bonds, allowing
children
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 to build closer relationships with their parents.
On the other hand
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, attending
school
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 enables
children
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 to develop self-discipline because they interact with classmates and teachers on a daily basis. They learn to follow rules,
such
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 as standing in a queue during lunchtime and remaining quiet during lessons.
In addition
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, teachers equip students with the knowledge and life skills needed to deal with real-life situations.
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School
Correct article usage
The school
show examples
also
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 provides opportunities to develop communication and interpersonal skills through regular interaction with peers. From my perspective, attending
school
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 is the best way to prepare
children
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 for adulthood, as they learn how to behave appropriately in different social situations and gain a better understanding of other people's feelings and opinions. In conclusion,
although
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 studying at
home
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 offers flexibility and helps strengthen family relationships, I firmly believe that attending
school
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 is a more beneficial option because it equips
children
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 with essential life skills, self-discipline, and the confidence needed to overcome the challenges of the real world.

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Task response
Score: 8. To make it even better, add one real or clear example for each side. For example, a child at home may learn fast in one subject, while a child at school may learn to work in a group.
Task response
The point about children following parents more than teachers may not be true for all children. Explain why this may happen, or use a safer point, such as one-to-one help from a parent.
Task response
Your own view is clear, but you could say more about why school is better than home study, not only why school has good points.
Coherence and cohesion
Score: 8. The order of ideas is very clear. To improve, make the link from each main point to your view a little more direct.
Coherence and cohesion
Some ideas are close in meaning: rules, self-control, life skills, and social skills. Put them in a clear order or join two of them, so the school paragraph feels less like a list.
Coherence and cohesion
Use a few more links that show cause and result, such as “because of this”, “therefore”, or “this means that”. Do not use too many.
Task response
You discuss both sides and give a clear view: school is better.
Task response
Your main ideas are on topic: home study gives more time freedom and family time; school builds rules, social skills, and life skills.
Coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear four-part plan: start, home view, school view, and end.
Coherence and cohesion
You use clear links such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, “Furthermore”, and “In conclusion”.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Personalized learning
  • Flexible learning pace
  • Family bonding
  • Negative influences
  • Socialization opportunities
  • Interpersonal skills
  • Extracurricular activities
  • Cultural awareness
  • Qualified teachers
  • Curriculum
  • Homeschooling
  • Traditional schools
  • Diverse group of peers
  • Empathy
  • Peer pressure
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