IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The majority of news being reported is bad news such as wars, famines, accidents and crime. Why do you think that is? Do you think the news should be a balance of both good and bad news?

There is a lot of negative
news
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 appearing on the Internet or on TV nowadays;
however
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, the number of
people
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 who like watching
this
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 topic is significant. The main reason why articles about wars, famines, accidents, and crime are becoming more popular and vital is that readers are attracted by hot titles and content. Journalists tend to write extremely serious words in their titles to stimulate the citizen’s curiosity.
As a result
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, more individuals are tempted to click on and the authors will gain more fame and money from that.
For example
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, in Vietnam, a famous tabloid journalism is Tinmoi.net which usually uploads critical and dramatic titles and sometimes posts wrong information to make its own profit. In my opinion, the articles should have a perfect combination of positive and negative
news
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. Reading too much bad content
such
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 as wars, famines, and crime can have some pessimistic influence on
people
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.
For instance
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,
a
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apply
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research pointed out that a percentage of
people
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 reading merciless crimes always feel stressed, unsafe about life, and doubt other
people
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 in Japan.
Hence
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, journalists should choose optimistic
news
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such
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 as the patriots, new inventions, development of social, and charities to improve the human mind. Many
people
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 say that they feel life is becoming beautiful after watching tolerant and meaningful
news
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. In conclusion, publishing too many bad articles is a major issue in our world because it can bring some disadvantages to readers’s mental health. The government should intervene in the number

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task achievement
Consider enhancing your thesis statement in the introduction to clearly outline both parts of the question: why there's so much bad news and the need for a balance of good and bad news.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph maintains a clear focus: the first on the reasons for bad news popularity, and the second on the need for a balance. Try to connect the main idea of each paragraph to your overall argument more explicitly.
task achievement
Incorporate a few more specific examples or statistics to support your points about the impact of negative news on mental health, as detailed evidence can strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Your essay effectively identifies key reasons for the prevalence of negative news and presents a balanced viewpoint, showing depth in your analysis.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear and organized structure, making it easy for the reader to follow your ideas throughout the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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