IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The majority of news being reported is bad news such as wars, famines, accidents and crime. Why do you think that is? Do you think the news should be a balance of both good and bad news?

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There is a lot of negative
news
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 appearing on the Internet or on TV nowadays;
however
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, the number of
people
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 who like watching
this
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 topic is significant. The main reason why articles about wars, famines, accidents, and crime are becoming more popular and vital is that readers are attracted by hot titles and content. Journalists tend to write extremely serious words in their titles to stimulate the citizen’s curiosity.
As a result
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, more individuals are tempted to click on and the authors will gain more fame and money from that.
For example
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, in Vietnam, a famous tabloid journalism is Tinmoi.net which usually uploads critical and dramatic titles and sometimes posts wrong information to make its own profit. In my opinion, the articles should have a perfect combination of positive and negative
news
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. Reading too much bad content
such
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 as wars, famines, and crime can have some pessimistic influence on
people
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.
For instance
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,
a
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apply
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research pointed out that a percentage of
people
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 reading merciless crimes always feel stressed, unsafe about life, and doubt other
people
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 in Japan.
Hence
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, journalists should choose optimistic
news
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such
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 as the patriots, new inventions, development of social, and charities to improve the human mind. Many
people
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 say that they feel life is becoming beautiful after watching tolerant and meaningful
news
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. In conclusion, publishing too many bad articles is a major issue in our world because it can bring some disadvantages to readers’s mental health. The government should intervene in the number of negative reports posted to create a balance of pessimistic and optimistic
news
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.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the main points you will discuss. This helps set the framework for your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on linking your ideas more smoothly. Consider using more varied connecting phrases to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. While your current examples are relevant, providing more depth would yield a clearer picture of your points.
Task Achievement
In your conclusion, reiterate the significance of a balanced news representation and perhaps suggest actionable steps for journalists or media companies.
Task Achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt and presents your viewpoint clearly, which is crucial for task achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have a good range of vocabulary and sentence structures, making your writing engaging to read.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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